Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Lovely Girls #2

Welcome to the next instalment in Terence McDanger's soon-to-be-bulging portfolio of raging beauties.

Continuing on the theme of Lovely Girl #1, number 2 is also a bombshell brunette with bountiful boobs and with any luck, a deep appreciation for alliteration. Say hello to Rachel Weisz. I haven't managed to type her name correctly even once yet, but she's a very, very, very lovely girl indeed and lends herself, with typically easy grace and charm, to a plethora of puns about 'Weisz-ing up' and getting 'caught in a Weisz-like grip' and so forth, fnarr, fnarr.

I've been thoughtful enough to include a rather racy picture of herself there above. It's a snap open to all sorts of interpretations. On one hand, she might be fresh from running around some windswept moor like a love-struck leveret in Wuthering Heights, while on the other she might be a slightly wanton little hussy after dancing her socks off in a heaving nightclub, teasing an endless succession of slathering, hopelessly inadequate blokes. There's also something very weird running through my head about her having been caught short while out shopping and having to leg it to the nearest public jacks, but I'm odd that way. Whatever the context, someone saw fit to spray her front with water to give her that breathless, sexy/tousled look. I want to shake that person's hand.

She's been cavorting about the silver screen for quite a while has our Rachel, has remained consistently lovely throughout and shows no sign of letting up. She's not afraid to glam down either; she got a little mucky as a resistance fighter in Enemy at the Gates with Jude Law and was also a few layers of makeup short of a prom queen in the Constant Gardner as well. But I see beyond this to her core of true lovliness underneath. The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, About a Boy and Runaway Jury are also on her CV.

Some absolute bastard married her recently I believe.

Despite her marital status, Weisz (35) was overjoyed and typically gracious when Moo-Dog contacted her at her residence in Brooklyn to tell her of her inclusion in the lovely girls pantheon of greats.

After deftly handling the suspicious questions of her simpering fool of a husband (with a tale about the caller being a cheese-grater salesman), she cooed endearingly: "Well obviously this is a huge honour, I'm very flattered Terence and it will do wonders for my career. I think we should hook up and have alot of sex at the nearest opportunity. I can do Thursday. "

10 moos and woofs:

Radge said...

A Weisz choice, Terence, a Weisz choice indeed.


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