Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Release me

I'm off on me jollies again. I say 'again' because I've been away once before, about a year ago, so technically, I qualify. Hardly an intrepid explorer but those of you that know me will be aware that I came to all those airports and foreign countries a bit late in life. I intend to make up for it.

Anyway, in a neat coincidence, this coming weekend I'm roaming off to...wait for it...Rome! (pause for laughter).

Finished chuckling there? Good.
I'm looking forward to it I must say. I have alot of half-baked notions about the Eternal city that I expect to either be reinforced, or else blown out of the water. These include:

  • Roads built about three thousand years ago...still in use today!
  • Sewers built about three thousand years ago...still processing poo today!
  • Good looking, well dressed and very sexy ladies.
  • Good looking, well dressed but vainglorious, posing, preening, suave, sophisticated, virile and oily men who I wouldn't be jealous of at all now, but rather object to on a more principled level you understand
  • Smiling, young fellas nipping about in their shirt-sleeves on scooters with flimsily clad girlfriends on the back and their crepe paper dresses definitely too far up their thighs to be wholesome for a Catholic country
  • Good pizza
  • The Colosseum being a bit dingy and shit
  • Pasta in every course, including dessert
  • Moustachioed pickpockets and ne'er-do-wells at every turn
  • Pope Benedict resembling, up close, your skin after you've been in the bath too long
  • Nuns and holy joes everywhere
  • Witnessing at least three stand-up rows between couples on the street in what would be classic examples of the 'tempestuous Italian temperament'
  • Seeing above three couples quickly follow the blazing row with a passionate embrace in a classic example of the Italian tendency to tear someone's eyes out one minute and then maka da love like a stallion the next.
  • A mafia Don getting shot on the street
  • Frescos actually being fine examples of Renaissance art and not an Italian supermarket chain

I shall let you know how I get on. If I come across anything interesting while out and about with my supercool-I-can-send-photos-to-my-blog-from-anywhere-in the-world-mobile phone-feature (TM), I shall be sure to publish it, instantly. From anywhere in the world. Which in this case, will be Rome, Italy. And yes Radge, I'm still talking about it because it's the coolest thing ever.

If I'm at work next week in a toga you'll know what happened.

PS: The only reason this blog has the title it does is because I found this cool song on the net that's off the Saab ad on TV, and it's deadly. I just got to the end of this without remembering what I set out to do at the start: