Thursday, November 29, 2007

Cavan Cola!


West Cavan's representative literate person over at Cavantucky cheered me up no end today when I went there and discovered that a campaign has started to get Cavan Cola back on the market.

As the saying goes, I was reared on Cavan Cola. Most people say that sort of thing in jest or as a figure of speech but no, I really was reared on it as there was never a drop of milk in the house and my mother was big into smoking crack. Only messing.

For those of you unfamiliar and in thrall to sterotypes, it was just a harmless soft drink and not some crazy 90% home brew hooch distilled in the hills by barefoot, slack-jawed yokels in dungarees. Looking squinty eyed and lustily at farm animals.

Now I know 'Cavan Cola' doesn't exactly conjure images of some sort of elixir of youth but it was actually great stuff, a sort of Smithwicks for apprentices. It had a deep brown ruddy colour (like the local tap water) and a frothy head like the suds of a freshly poured bottle of Guinness. Legions of Cavan children grew up deliberately pouring it much too quickly into pint glasses before taking big mouthfuls and smacking the glass down on the table with a big 'aaahhhhhhhh,' before wiping their cola moustaches away and burping something about the saving the hay, as they tried to imitate their Daddies down the pub.

I don't know why they ever took it off the market, as long as kids love sugar, which is as long as wasps will, it was always going to keep selling. Then again, if it was turning profit they'd never have shelved it. Rumour had it that the dastardly laboratory boffins over in Brussels discovered banned ingredients in it and therefore ordered it out of production. Banned ingredients means E123, by the way, nothing sinister like turpentine or rat poison.

Never mind that kids had to be peeled off the ceiling after drinking a few bottles of it, this is part of our heritage. Well, my heritage really, but I don't mind sharing. Between Smithwicks being about as cool as being in the Girl Guides, and now Cavan Cola's continuing exile, I'm struggling to keep it together folks.

I think our only hope is that Lidl start making it in Estonia or something and then ship it in.

They'd never try this with Dubliner Irish Cheese I bet. Or Clonakilty pudding. Or Tipperary water. Yeah. Kick Cavan why don't yis, we're a soft target.

24 moos and woofs:

Susan said...

Ah yes, those sugar highs...you didn't mention the boys' farting contests after drinking piles of foam before it had a chance to settle in the glass.

I had some 'splaining to do this afternoon as I checked local shops all over WC (meaning West Cavan but is it any coincidence you may have thought I meant something else?) : there I was on my knees rummaging in the dust of their back-of-shelves, pushing aside rusty tins of Heinz beans and such to prove Wikipedia right or wrong about Cavan's wild west.

So far, wrong.

Darn you Wikipedia, darn you to heck...

Don't worry Terence, if it's here, I'll find it for you. Belturbet tomorrow.

conman said...

haha ! well written !

don leahy from cavan cola campaign ! ;-)

Terence McDanger said...

A visit from the man himself! Moo-Dog is honoured. I'm nominating you for Cavan person of the Year next year, no doubt they'll want to give it to some charity worker who saved millions of lives in Kilnaleck by buyng a bag of chips for the locals, but I know my priorities!

Susan said...

Nominate me too, Moo...I'm the one who 'outed' your post to him, after all.

Plus, I've got boobies on my blog today...just for you, you know, 'cause I'm feeling guilty not finding any Cavan Cola even in our remotest West.

Anonymous said...

my grandad made Cavan Cola...

Anonymous said...

Mighty Stuff......
Do yez recon that we could get nationwide to cover this story ?

Rodge and Podge should do a stint on it too.

Anonymous said...

whos grandad made Cavan Cola? I remember drinking it.. Redhills... summer.. came from a shed type shop with no freezer. Never even tasted a cold Cavan Cola. But thats where the magic happened. The giant frothy head - more like guinness than Smithwicks

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