Thursday, November 08, 2007

Collapsible goats. Whatever next?

I've decided that I want a new pet - a fainting goat!

For those of you unfamiliar with the species, the fainting goat is a basically like your average normal goat, except it freezes rigid and then keels over any time it gets a sudden fright. I don't normally opt out by posting you-tube videos but this is quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen: (edit: if you can't see video below here's the URL:

There's endless possibilities offered by owning a herd of farmyard animals that fall over like they've been shot any time you so much as look funny at them. All you have to do is give them a small scare or show them some food, this makes them all excited, and pop! Down they go. It's not even cruel. It's an hereditary condition apparently, and their muscles just freeze up for about ten seconds so they fall over for a little while and get back up again and run off. Before some joker hops out from behind the wall and pop! Down they go again.

I'm thinking I'd like to get about a hundred of the little critters lined up in my garden and leave them there grazing, all content and unsuspecting. Then I'd burst emphatically from the shed screaming and hurrooing and watch amazed as scores of goats collapse in front of me like deckchairs in a gale. Or more elaborate, why not have fainting goat domino displays? Put them all in a line, fire a cannon off a nearby turret and then watch those little beggars falling over into each other in an increasing crescendo of baaaaaaaaah. Or why not pack them all on a ghost train or a rollercoaster and film it, that'd be hilarious. I'm even thinking that'd they'd make a great recurring joke on a comedy sketch show. 'Guard Goats' we could call it, the punchline every week being how they sneak up on thieves raiding the farm but unfortunately lapse into paralysis just before they raise the alarm and save the day.

Fuck this, I'm off to get one.

14 moos and woofs:

Jessica said...

I cant see any video ???

Terence McDanger said...

Ah crap. hang on.

Terence McDanger said...

ok just pasted the URL link directly to you tube....

Jessica said...

lol - thanks

Rach said...

Oh I love that, so funny. I keep imagining what it would be like if adults had that rare gene. Good writing.

JD said...

Oh, mah Gah. I'm so glad you commented on my blog, or I would never have found yours. Hilarious! Fainting goats! I want one too.

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