Thursday, November 22, 2007

Tommy RIP


I'm feeling a bit guilty today. I've just remembered a pet tortoise that died in my care back in 1986.

I bought him because a petshop opened in the village and because this was as near to exotica as rural Cavan was ever going to get I wanted to buy something quickly before they packed up and left after realising that there was no demand for piranha and seahorses round our way. I wanted a rabbit or some Vietnamese fighting fish, or perhaps a baby elephant, but could only scrape up the money for a small terrapin after saving pocket money for months. I called him Tommy. I was big into alliteration back then and was mulling over Tina, Tony and even Taggart, (because he had wrinkly bags under his eyes like the dour detective on telly and his shell looked like the tartan on a kilt). I went with Tommy in the end though.

I was initially delighted with the purchase. Tommy yawned, stuck his head in and out and did little poos in his tank. I gave him food and he'd clamber up a little ramp to the feeding bowl and tuck in. He was great. For about three days. Then I had to wash the tank out and I must admit, scraping off tortoise poo was not something I'd bargained for when planning the purchase. He couldn't do any tricks either, such as handstands, overhead flips or water-skiing, he just pottered about and slept most of the time. I began to resent him because he wasn't an Andrex puppy. Tommy was losing his appeal so I just gradually abandoned him and let my Mum do the feeding and poo-cleaning and stuff. You know, sort of like she'd done for me for years, so I figured another mouth to feed and bum to clean wouldn't tax her unduly.

One morning I came down to breakfast and he was on his back floating in the water. I knew little of animal medicine, what with being ten and everything, but I was fairly sure that these particular symptoms meant he had a common but fatal condition known as 'being dead'. He had passed on, was deceased, he was a non-terrapin.

So anyway, I did the tactful thing like any ten-year-old would, and wrapped him in tinfoil and chucked him down the garden.

I was thinking about him today because, as I haven't spawned yet myself - i.e. no kids - I thought it might be nice to have a dog instead. Dogs offer a good substitute and are very like kids you know - there's the unconditional love, drool, poo anywhere tendencies and a predilection for eating almost anything. I think a dog would be good training for me ahead of the pit patter of little McDanger feet, but reflecting on my track record doesn't fill me with confidence.

I think I need to make my peace with the departed Tommy to move on. He would have been 21 next week, so I was considering putting this in the deaths section of the newspaper:

THOMAS (Turtle)
21st Anniversary. Late of a small tank - a water tank, not a military tank! - in rural Cavan. Died sometime in 1986. Much missed by Terence McDanger. Well, actually no, there's just a bit of guilt going on and he's trying to get past it so he can buy a dog.

"There are so many things I should have done and so many things I should have said. But it'll have to wait because this is costing me 10 cents a letter and that’s 44.70 so beta go b4 runnin

14 moos and woofs:

Susan said...

Poor Tommy. Let us know a date for the Anniversary Mass, don't forget...

As you're a Cavanite, may I assume you'll be getting the black-and-white-chases-traffic-rides-a-tractor standard? What the rest of the world calls a border collie, only without the pedigree? An excellent choice for parenthood training, being hyperactive, often muddy, and far too cunning.

Or, I've got some kids you can practice on for a few weeks. I can pick them up again after Christmas; collie included.

Paul Heron said...

Ok, now I want a terrapin, its been over 20 years since I last had one, but that post tugs at my heart strings. Poor little Tommy....

Terence McDanger said...

@Susan, that reminds me of a farmer round our way who had a terrier who used to sit on his lap while he drove around on his tractor. Everyone used to call him the willy-warmer dog!

@Paul, did you have one as well yeah? I feel really guily mine only lasted about a year but apparently the little beggars can go for decades!

Mulled Vine said...

LOL

I sense a fello Python lover, so check out http://onemansblog.com/2006/12/01/a-compendium-of-150-monty-python-sketches/

Baino said...

I had a hamster once. Given to me to teach me the responsibilities of pet ownership. I loved it, cleaned its cage, fed it, tamed it then woke up one morning and it had gone all stiff . . not in a good way . . .nobody told me I had to give it a drink . . .I'm much better at animal husbandry now!

Get a labrador. Lots of fun, easy to train and good with kids when the miniMcDanger's come along.

Terence McDanger said...

I loved hamsters. Aren't they the little fellers that store food in their cheeks for later? Fed one a whole bag of nuts once just to see how many I could cram in.

http://dogs-blogspot.blogspot.com/ said...

http://dogs-blogspot.blogspot.com/

ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 07.24
prada handbags, michael kors outlet, burberry, longchamp, michael kors, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet online, nike air max, michael kors outlet, coach outlet, oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, polo ralph lauren outlet, nike outlet, coach purses, ray ban sunglasses, coach outlet, longchamp outlet, true religion jeans, tiffany and co, chanel handbags, michael kors outlet, kate spade handbags, replica watches, gucci outlet, louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, kate spade outlet, tory burch outlet, oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, ray ban sunglasses, tiffany jewelry, nike air max, coach factory outlet, prada outlet, nike free, louboutin, christian louboutin outlet, longchamp outlet, louboutin shoes

ninest123 Ninest said...

ray ban pas cher, ralph lauren uk, vanessa bruno, new balance pas cher, louboutin pas cher, hermes, timberland, vans pas cher, true religion jeans, true religion jeans, ralph lauren pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, ray ban uk, nike blazer, converse pas cher, hollister, true religion outlet, michael kors, sac guess, sac longchamp, lululemon, air max, lacoste pas cher, michael kors, nike roshe run, hollister pas cher, north face, nike free run uk, longchamp pas cher, nike air max, air force, tn pas cher, oakley pas cher, hogan, mulberry, nike air max, north face, nike air max, nike free, air jordan pas cher, michael kors, burberry

ninest123 Ninest said...

p90x workout, nike huarache, baseball bats, giuseppe zanotti, jimmy choo shoes, beats by dre, instyler, iphone 6 cases, mac cosmetics, nike roshe, vans shoes, valentino shoes, ghd, nfl jerseys, hollister, ferragamo shoes, oakley, celine handbags, longchamp, wedding dresses, nike trainers, nike air max, reebok shoes, nike roshe, asics running shoes, mont blanc, north face outlet, mcm handbags, birkin bag, bottega veneta, soccer shoes, insanity workout, timberland boots, babyliss, chi flat iron, herve leger, abercrombie and fitch, hollister, north face outlet, soccer jerseys, new balance, lululemon

ninest123 Ninest said...

ray ban, pandora charms, ugg boots, pandora charms, nike air max, swarovski, juicy couture outlet, links of london, coach outlet, pandora jewelry, karen millen, thomas sabo, ugg pas cher, ugg boots uk, montre pas cher, vans, hollister, lancel, ralph lauren, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, ugg boots, bottes ugg, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, ugg boots, marc jacobs, toms shoes, supra shoes, converse outlet, louboutin, uggs on sale, hollister, wedding dresses, ugg boots, gucci, juicy couture outlet, swarovski crystal, converse, replica watches
ninest123 07.24

Cran Kate said...

North Face Jackets Prada Outlet Burberry Outlet Hollister Clothing Ferragamo Shoes Tiffany Jewelry Tiffany Outlet NFL Jerseys Cheap Jordans Oakley Outlet North Face Outlet Burberry Outlet Ray Ban Sunglasses North Face Outlet Skechers Shoes
Chan Luu Sale Toms Outlet Oakley Sunglasses Toms Shoes Sale Beats By Dr Dre Coach Outlet Christian Louboutin Shoes Oakley Sunglasses Valentino Shoes Burberry Outlet
Oakley Eyeglasses Michael Kors Outlet Coach Factory Outlet Coach Outlet Online Coach Purses Kate Spade Outlet Toms Shoes North Face Outlet Coach Outlet Gucci Belt North Face Jackets Oakley Sunglasses Toms OutletLouis Vuitton Outlet North Face Outlet

Eric Yao said...

Burberry Belt Tory Burch Boots Louis Vuitton Belt Ferragamo Belt Marc Jacobs Handbags Lululemon Outlet Christian Louboutin Shoes True Religion Outlet Tommy Hilfiger Outlet
Michael Kors Outlet Coach Outlet Red Bottoms Kevin Durant Shoes New Balance Outlet Adidas Outlet Coach Outlet Online Stephen Curry Jersey Vans Outlet Ralph Lauren Outlet
Ugg Boots Sale UGGS For Women Skechers Go Walk Adidas Yeezy Boost Adidas Yeezy Adidas NMD Coach Outlet North Face Outlet Ralph Lauren Outlet Puma Outlet Polo Outlet
Under Armour Outlet Under Armour Hoodies Herve Leger MCM Belt Nike Air Max Louboutin Heels Jordan Retro 11 Converse Outlet Nike Roshe Run UGGS Outlet North Face Outlet

eric yao said...

Coach Outlet http://www.coachoutletfactory-stores.us.com

North Face Outlet http://www.northface-outlets.com.co

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadefactoryoutlet.in.net

ED Hardy Outlet http://www.edhardypopsale.com

Coach Outlet Store Online http://www.coachstoreonline.in.net

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletstore.in.net

Cheap Jordans http://www.cheapjordansretro.us.com

Michael Kors Outlet Store http://www.michaelkorsoutletsstores.us.com

Coach Purses http://www.coachpurses.eu.com

Coach Outlet http://www.coachoutlet2016.us.com

Tory Burch Shoes http://www.toryburch-outlet.us.org

Longchamp Outlet http://www.longchampoutlet.in.net

Michael Kors Handbags http://www.innnov8.com

Coach Outlet http://www.innnovate.com

Red Bottom Shoes http://www.redbottomshoes.us.org

Moncler Jackets http://www.monclerdownjackets.us.com

North Face Outlet http://www.northfacestoreoutlet.in.net

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletstore.us.com

Moncler Outlet http://www.moncleroutletonline.in.net

Coach Factory http://www.maganates.com

Coach Factory Outlet http://www.coachfactorysoutlet.in.net

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katesapdeoutlet.us.org

Ray Ban Outlet http://www.raybanoutletstore.in.net

Christian Louboutin Shoes http://www.christianlouboutinshoes2016.in.net

North Face Outlet http://www.northfaceoutlets.us.org

Coach Factory Outlet http://www.coachoutletstore.name

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletonline.name

Coach Outlet http://www.coach-outlets.us.org

Nike Roshe Run http://www.tanie-nikerosherun.pl

Buty Nike Air Max http://www.airmaxsprzedazdla.pl

Nike Air Max http://www.nikeairmax.us.org

Red Bottom Shoes http://www.redbottomshoe.in.net

Christian Louboutin Outlet http://www.christianlouboutinoutlet.us.org

Balenciaga Handbags http://www.balenciagaoutlets.us.com

Balenciaga Handbags http://www.balenciaga-handbags.us.com

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadefactoryoutlet.in.net

Toms Shoes http://www.tomshoesoutlet.us.com

Hermes Belt http://www.hermes-belts.us.com

Prada Outlet http://www.pradafactoryoutlet.com

Louis Vuitton Outlet http://www.louisvuittonsoutlet.us.com

North Face Outlet Store http://www.northfaceoutletstore.in.net

North Face Jackets http://www.north-face.in.net

North Face http://www.north-faceoutlets.us.com

Louis Vuitton Outlet http://www.louisvuitton-outlets.us.org

Timberland Boots http://www.timberland-outlets.us.com

Cheap Timberland Boots http://www.timberlandoutlet.us.com

Tory Burch Outlet http://www.outlettoryburch.us.com

Michael Kors Outlet http://www.michaelkorsoutletusa.us.com

Ralph Lauren Outlet http://www.ralphlaurenstoreoutlet.us.com

Gucci Shoes http://www.guccifactoryoutlet.name

Gucci Outlet http://www.guccioutletco.us.com

North Face Jackets http://www.northfacefactoryoutlet.us.com

Prada Outlet http://www.pradaoutlets.in.net

Hollister Clothing http://www.hollister-clothing.us.com

Ferragamo Shoes http://www.ferragamoshoes.us.org

Tiffany Outlet http://www.tiffany-outlets.us.com

Tiffany Outlet http://www.tiffanyco-outlet.us.com

NFL Jerseys http://www.nfljerseys.name

Toms Outlet http://www.outlettoms.us.com

Cheap Jordans http://www.cheapjordans.eu.com

North Face Outlet http://www.thenorthfaceoutlet.us.org

Michael Kors Outlet http://www.michael-korsoutletstores.us.com

Prada Handbags http://www.pradaoutlet.us.org

Chan Luu Sale http://www.chanluu.us.com

Toms Outlet http://www.tomsoutletstores.us.com

Kate Spade Outlet http://www.katespadeoutletonline.us.org

Beats By Dr Dre http://www.beatsbydrdre.us.org

Coach Outlet http://www.coachstoreoutlet.us.org

Christian Louboutin Shoes http://www.christianlouboutinshoe.eu.com

Valentino Shoes http://www.valentinoshoes.eu.com

Michael Kors Outlet http://www.michaelkorsoutlet.us.org

Coach Factory Outlet http://www.coachfactoryoutlet.us.org

Coach Outlet Online http://www.coachoutletonlinestore.us.org

Coach Purses http://www.coachpurse.us.com

Post a Comment