A dong for Ireland?

Wait till you hear this. Mispronounced song lyrics now have the power to change the outcome of important soccer matches.

I was arseing around on the internet (do you spell arseing with an 'e' or without?) and read about a gaffe made at the recent England v Croatia international game. Apparently, the poor man hired to sing the Croatian national anthem had some difficulty with the complexities of the foreign language version and ended up singing "My penis is a mountain."

Yes, you can see how he'd have trouble getting his tongue around it alright.

It seems he was supposed to sing "You know my dear how we love your mountains" but suffered a bit of a linguistic faux pas and ended up boasting about the size of his langer instead. The Croatian players all had a giggle on the field when it happened though, and they maintain now that it actually helped them relax enough to go on and beat England and knock them out of the tournament. To the extent that they want him to be made official mascot for next summer's European Championships.

With powers such as these, I now implore the FAI to book this guy in to sing our own Amhrán na bhFiann when we go to Italy for next year's World Cup qualifier. As most of you know, our anthem is called, in English, A soldier's Song, so let's get this bloke on board and he can belt out "A Soldier's Schlong" instead.

Italy 2 Rep. Ireland 3.