Sunday, March 09, 2008

Ye olde meme

I'm terrible slow sometimes. It seems Grandfather McHeadrambles tagged me some time back in 1798, probably on just about the only day that I didn't happen to read his blog. I think I was going through one of my shit-the-boss-keeps-looking-over phases at work or something. So I completely missed it altogether and only found it there now because I tripped across it on my technorati profile that, unlike Grandad's blog, I never look at.

Ah well. Better late than never I suppose.

Here's how the whole thing works:

Post this on your blog . . .
+ Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
+ Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
+ Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
+ Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
That’s all there’s to it . . .
Oh, and have fun.

Seven random and weird facts. Hould on to your britches boys and girls, here we go:

1. Until I was about 19 I never knew that the accepted vernacular for haemorrhoids was 'piles.' Nobody wanted to correct me because they thought it much too funny to hear me say shit like "That fella walks funny, he must have a bad dose of heaps." Or, "That feckin' dog is dragging his arse around the floor behind him trying to scratch himself. He clearly has loads, bless him."

People laughed at me for years and I never knew.

2. The first time I got drunk was at aged 14 on five manky pints of Heineken that my sister's foxy friend bought for me. I barfed like a geyser.

Do geysers have carrots in them?

And no dice with the foxy friend either, unsurprisingly.

3. I really, really, really can't for the fucking life of me understand this poker on TV phenomenon. It's the stupidest craze to take hold, ever. A bunch of shades-wearing assholes sitting around a table playing cards and a breathless commentator talking over it about the flop and the blinds and other shit, and they put it all on TV and some people actually watch! I'd rather eat my own face.

4. The first CD I ever bought was August and Everything After by the Counting Crows. I still listen to it regularly, probably more than the piles of other CDs - or heaps, loads, whatever - that I've bought since.

5. When I was 12, I promised my friend I'd buy him three Mars bars if he'd eat a raw onion and five mushrooms. He accepted the bet and scoffed the lot.

I then told him I hadn't any money.

6. My maths teacher once found me rolling cigarettes down the back of his class and gave me a two-page essay to write as punishment. I kinda got into it though and instead wrote him a five page one that he found so amusing he vowed to find a reason to punish me similarly in the near future. He never did though.

Catch me that is.

And he took me skins and tobacco as well the fucker.

7. The single moment in film history that made me laugh more than any other, ever, was during the spoof Oscar ceremony in Naked Gun 33 and a turd, when they showed a clip from "Mother Teresa, the musical."

It basically showed a very nimble and unusually spry Mother Teresa capering and dancing through a shanty village and jumping over hurdles, singing "I love food, I love food."

I damn near wet myself and still couldn't stop laughing even after rewinding ten times. Once I start laughing at something, I just can't stop until I get something akin to a mild asthma attack and that usually stops me alright.

Anyhoo, that's quite enough septuple randomistical weirdnesses. Here's the magnificent seven I'm now tagging with this.

Radge I bet I know all of them already. Especially that one with the sheep and the baby oil, eh? Hilarious!

Baino There's only one thing worse than being tagged Baino, and that's not being tagged.

Rosie I have to pay you back for your fartfelt tribute and this might take your mind off things when you get back to blogging, hopefully soon.

K8 I can't get back at Grandad, therefore I will hurt the people nearest to him instead, but only because Sandy can't read and write yet. Mwah ha hahahahaha!

Kath With one stipulation: only one revelation can be chocolate-related. Carry on.

Susan You left your calling card here on Friday so I know you're out and about again. It's high time you got yourself back in front of a PC young lady. (With a comma deliberately left out after PC, just to throw you and get you scratching your head about an episode of The Bill.)

Adullamite The bike? Hearts? Tea cakes? Less be avin ye!

And Heron, you needn't be sniggering, if you didn't have a sports blog you'd be on this too.

29 moos and woofs:

K8 the Gr8 said...

Dammit! I'll get you for this, Mc Danger, and your lil' dog, too.

Adullamite said...

You'll be sorry one day.....

Susan said...

I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you.....

Dammit. This means I have to sort out my Technical Issues (they are ancient and mighty indeed) so I can comply with this?? I don't even know seven other bloggers! I'm in CAVAN!! AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Blast you McDanger and double blast, you non-comma'ing 1/3.

Terence McDanger said...

Good to have you back all the same. Does 'technical issues' mean that the mouse that kept running around the little wheel to produce the electricity to power your laptop, has shuffled off his mortal?

Terence McDanger said...

K8 and Adullamite, I think deep down you're loving the idea. No, really.

Grandfather McHeadrambles said...

I do love it when I start something.

Fair play, Terence!

Terence McDanger said...

You're a bould article and no mistake. But at least listening to K8's bellyaching might be some measure of pay-back...

Grandfather McHeadrambles said...

Ohhhh, it is. It is!

Baino said...

I'm sure I've done this one a gozillian times. I'm really not that interesting so I might save it for when the writer's block sets in. . meanwhile. I have shit to write on the Pope's new seven deadly sins! Mwahahahahaha!

Rosie said...

ugh. it was just the other day that i was congratulating myself on never having been pinkied with a meme and now you've gone and ruined it. any chance Paul Heron could do it and i can post his answers on my blog? sure you all know everything there is to know about me anyway.
yours in curmudgeonly begrudgement,

PS - word verification again! did you get lots of penis spam? i hate word verification. i always get it wrong.

Terence McDanger said...

Ok I'll tell you what, I'll turn off the word verification when you do the meme. Just for you.


Paul Heron said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kath Lockett said...

Done it Terry McD. Now it's time to get stuck into the mound of easter choccy I've "got" to "review"....

Radge said...

I just... I can't... I mean... WHAT??? How do you do any of this.

Terence, you're going to have to sit me down and take a rummage through Radgery's back end for answers.

By back end I mean Dashboard. Obviously.

Terence McDanger said...

Radge, I shall do so, but more pressingly (ooooh) I want to congratulate you as this is the first time any post has attracted more than 13 comments.

You don't win a prize.

Rosie said...

[has just discovered Radge and is worried that there may indeed be someone out there who's enjoying their pints more than she is]

Terence McDanger said...

Yes Rosie, I think you've found a kindred spirit there alright. I'm ever so proud of him since he started drinking Smithwicks though. Bless!

The Man at the Pub said...

Well now I understand what pile driving actually is and it sounds painful.

And regarding 3 Mars Bars... you mean bastard!

The Man at the Pub said...

PS - I like the new look blog!

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