I had burgers for my tea last night. I made them myself using a top secret McDanger family recipe that I shouldn't share for fear of excommunication from the clan, but I love you all, so here it is:
Get a lot of mince, squeeze handfuls into burger shapes and fry them. Then eat them.
My ma used to swear by that recipe. As in, literally - she'd stand by the mixing bowl going "fuckin' ravenous hoors of kids and their bastard burgers, c**tin' fuckin' bollocks shit bugger." She was a colourful, earthy woman.
Anyway, I always cook my burgers on the George Foreman - he put his name on it! - and it never fails to shock me when I look at the sludge tray afterwards. What you see in the above picture would, had the burgers not been cooked on the lean, mean, fat-reducing grilling machine (rolls off the tongue dunnit?), be oozing fattily and stodgily about inside the Temple of my body doing all sorts of skullduggery upon me.
So remember kids, always cook your burgers on the George. Or patties as the Americans call them.
Here, now that I think of it, I know a woman called Patty. I have secretly wished all my life that her surname was O'Doors or O'Windows, but she was a Lynch instead.
Damn her. Damn her to hell.
Anyway, moving on, I had a pound of beef and made three small burgers out of it. Does this mean I ate a turder pounder for tea?
4 moos and woofs:
That it does, Terry McD. We call 'em 'dog nuggets' at our place and I'd suggest that your mate Patty would be known as Patty Puss down here.
mince, egg, breadcrumbs, garlic, cayenne pepper, mixed herbs and a drop of chilli oil.
George sludge is scary, but remember if you are going to eat healthy and live longer you need to learn martial arts. That way you can take out all the other old people in the mad scrabble to collect your pension.
Great recipe. I'll try not to forget it.
I sometimes fry up some mince without stirring it -just flipping it like a pancake every so often. Good with a little HP.
Use premium beef mince, low fat. And you'll avoid a Fatty Patty.
For a 500g of mince: Packet of French Onion soup, 1 egg, dollop of BBQ Sauce, generous splosh of mixed herbs. Cook on the George and serve on toasted bun with sauteed onions, lettuce, pickle, tomato and BEETROOT!
Rollup and cook . . .c'mon! You can do better than that!
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