(Ticker tape, marching bands etc.)
Hurray! It's meme time again. Delve into my deepest darkest regions you lucky people. I was tagged with this by the lovely Susan at Stiney Rover Form. A kindly soul with a big heart, Susan also likes listening to Megadeth and Def Leppard, is campaigning for world peace and wants to bring disparate strands of the global community together by foisting labour-intensive memes upon them, and not taking no for answer.
I have to tag six others at the end. Stay tuned for the announcement now...
What are your nicknames?
I don't think I have any actually. Back in the day when I was, ahem, Radge's BOSS, he would affectionately refer to me as 'Hitler', (bless), but that's about all that springs readily to mind. I can reveal though that nobody but nobody ever calls me Terence McDanger, that's very much an on-stage persona.
If I was to choose a nickname for myself, however, it would be something rugged and beefy, like "Cliffs of Moher splattered in bolognese."
What TV gameshow/reality show would you like to be on?
Reality TV shows are a festering pile of second hand arses so they are, so none of the above. Gameshow-wise, I've always wanted to have a pop at the Crystal Maze that used to be on Channel 4. It looked like great craic and I loved the flourescent jumpsuits. I also loved the Krypton factor come to think of it (more flourescent tracksuits, there's a pattern emerging oh dear) but the king of them all for me was Going for Gold that used to be on BBC at lunchtime, hosted by Henry Kelly. It had contestants representing their EU country and the day Henry started his Guess Who? question, as always, by saying "Who am I?" only for the Norwegian fella to buzz in excitedly and say "Henry Kelly," well that was a great day. I fell about the place.
What was the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD?
I don't know what the first one I bought was, but ironically considering it was much further back in time, I do remember the first video we ever rented in our house after getting our first video recorder. It starred Arnold Schwarzenegger, doing a remarkably sensitive turn as a one-man killing army. 'Commando' it was called, but he had boxers on all the way through if anyone's wondering. I think the flick was about Arnie trying to find the dastardly evil-doer that was wiping out all the members of his old special ops unit.
This film informed my Arnie impression for years to come, with such gems as: "I heet Geen Berr-ays for bekkfost" (says he, to an ex-Green Beret threatening to kick his ass. In hindsight maybe Arnie thought he'd said Green Berries. Ho-hum) and also, "please don't deestub my frent, he is dead tie-ert" (to an airhostess on a plane, pointing to the hapless chaperone he'd just killed in one swift movement before making him look like he was asleep) and finally, the immortal "Let off some steam...Bennett," (as he fatally speared his nemesis with a length of Wavin pipe after a 45 minute to-and-fro fistfight, and a dramatic jet of steam signalled his demise).
Glad you asked now, wha?
What is your favourite scent?
The smell of rashers grilling. No messing.
If you had one million dollars to spend only on yourself, what would you spend it on?
As much car as I could get for the money. After some brief reflection, I reckon I'd go for a screaming red Ferrari. I've wanted one ever since I watched Magnum as a kid, in fact I wanted everything Magnum had.
I had the moustache by the time I was seven alright because my mother fed us all Baby Bio as children, but no sign of the Ferrari yet, alas. Or the birds. Or the helicopter. Or a house in the sun. Ah fucks sake, I'm an abject failure at being Magnum, let's just face it and move on.
One place you've visited, can't forget and want to go back to?
That's easy. Click here and you'll find out all you need to know.
Do you trust easily?
Not as easily as I used to. These questions have taken a turn for the effeminate all of a sudden...nobody warned me I'd have to talk about feelings and shit. (Grump).
Do you generally think before you act, or act before you think?
I am a thinker through and through (see what I did there, eh? Sigh...), plotter and planner to the last. I thought for ages before answering this question, for instance.
Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
In short, Ireland. I'm fed up of the whole shooting lot of it, the crap weather, the clueless government, the brutal service everywhere, the proliferation of scumbags, sigh, don't get me started! Or don't ask me to finish would be more accurate I suppose.
Do you have a good body image?
Ha, yeah, there's a great one of me full-frontal at a works do back a few years ago...wait...oh, ok, I get it. Short answer is yes I do, I look after myself, exercise, don't eat the wrong stuff too often, except when hungover, of course, when zero rules apply.
So yes, I'm grand in me shell, thanks very much.
What is your favorite fruit?
Sigh, the great question of our age. What with the fateful role of fruit in the great stories of Adam and Eve, William Tell, the iPod and Isaac Newton and what not, I think on the whole, I'll have to plump for the Kumquat.
What websites do you visit daily?
Facebuke, various blogs, fantasy football site, sports bulletin boards. And Radgery if he's doing any of his 'special' photos.
What have you been seriously addicted to lately?
Facebuke. It's a feckin' great yoke altogether.
And the Sopranos have had me sitting in rapt attention up until lately too, just watched the last series, a disappointing end I thought. I was wondering would Carmella turn out to be a government mole, or would young Meadow throw it all up to run off to Ireland seeking the hand in marriage of the author of a blog that touched her heart. This one, in case you're wondering. None of the above happened.
Chasing girls is also occupying my mind of late, only in the refined and gentlemanly way you'd expect from me of course. I'm enjoying being single again. Tee hee.
What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Susan's a bloody good egg so she is. I initially thought she was from Cavan but it turns out she's from West Cavan, or USA as some folk call it. Like all good women, or the ones I tend to like at any rate, I feel she laughs at about 60% of my jokes here on Moo-Dog and that's good enough for me.
She's a fresh and interesting writer, does a fine line in Victorian-looking cartoons and is a woman of good works to boot. Nuff said.
What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
Well once I got over the Galway Girl nausea (see sidebar) I was quickly buried up to my neck in sickly sweet bubblegum popshite by the monumental schlock-burger of a song that is The man who can't be moved by 'The Script.'
Hrrrmph. You'd be fucking well surprised, so you would, how far and fast you'd move with my retributionist foot up your arse, young man.
I bought a lovely Guide shirt there a few months ago, I like it very much. It's Italian I think (probably made in China) and manages to make me look very trim altogether. It got a few votes from the females gallery as well so happy days.
Well alright, me sisters said they liked it.
So it's top of the tree at the moment. Cost a bob or two actually, but I usually shop more frugally and well within my means in Jack and Jones, I always find something in there I like.
Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy?
No. Eating mouthfuls of crisp nothingness for breakfast doesn't do a lot for me. It's like the start-the-day-version of candy floss, so it's a no from me to crap, slapper and plop. Porridge all the way here. And no, porridge isn't sexy, you're right, but breakfast is for eating, not for shmearing all over your rippling torso and gyrating in front of the enthralled neighbours.
What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground?
I'd be all over that situation like a drunk Frank Spencer doing gymnastics. Oooooh Betty, I would.
I used to love finding money as a kid, if there was nobody about, I'd pocket it, I'm not ashamed to say. Unless it was a massive amount like, which never actually happened so I was spared the moral conundrum.
Odd but related aside: the night meself and the girlfriend parted ways for good, I walked in a bit of a daze towards Pearse Street and found two 50 euro notes lying in the gutter. Strange that, I always thought.
Items you couldn't go without during the day?
Sigh, it's a cliche but...I have a little 'spectacles, testicles' moment every day before closing the front door behind me and it always goes, in order of importance: keys, wallet, mobile. All three are usually stowed close to my lower regions so there does be a slight element of Michael Jackson genital husbandry at the door, which amuses the neighbours no end. It's a kind of an arse, crotch, upper thigh routine.
These three things cause much mortification if left behind. The day I forgot my keys, my former other half was down the country so I had to throw myself on the mercy of the neighbours who kindly admitted me to use their phone, once I convinced them I wouldn't molest myself.
What should you be doing right now?
Writing a proper blog post that I thought of myself!
Ok, drum roll.
The chosen few are:
Not Rosie, because I'm not even going to dare poking the wasps nest that is the Spanish Exposition with the flaming petrol stick that is a tagging, so instead I'll opt for the much more amenable Kath Chocklett, er, I mean Lockett.
(But if Rosie's feeling energetic or is doped on goofballs or something, she can go ahead.)
One good Aussie leads to another, that's you there Baino McBanterest let's be having you.
Susan took Radge already but no harm done because I know a Scotsman who'll love this. Adullamite, sharpen your pen. That's pen I said, not dagger, leemee alone!
Someone I owe a jolly good tagging to is Grandad. Think of it as meme, the revenge.
And finally, I'd like to hear from the blogger that makes me hungry every time I visit, the stupendous kitchen whizz that is English Mum