Monday, November 10, 2008

Upside

A lunchtime conversation just there has reminded me of what is the single biggest upside to no longer being in a long term relationship.

I totally, utterly, completely - and blissfully - do not have a fucking clue what's happening in X Factor.

Oh joy is me. I no longer have to sacrifice my highly refined cultural taste and TV remote in the spirit of co-operation and not having a row.

I assume, however, that Louis Walsh is still creaming himself over every contestant and telling them they're the next Norah Jones/George Michael/Justin Timberlake etc? This is because to Louis, everybody can only be quantified in terms of how much like someone else they are, as opposed to being judged on their own merits. Pah!

And I'm guessing there's still there's loads of musically heartrending cut-scenes of tone-deaf screechy people crying with snots all over their faces as they blubber about their dream and their dead auntie who perchance sent the forms off before she died in a hoovering accident - because I never thought I was good enough blah de blah but I'm doing it for my auntie yakkity yak yak? Are they still inquiring intellectually into matters diverse like song choice and suiting your voice and a recording contract is there for you if you want it but you really need to up your performance from last week and I think that's really unfair Simon and it's two yesses so you're through and ah Jesus this is supposed to be a rejoicing blog and I'm getting all wound up now so I'll pull over and park up before combusting.

22 moos and woofs:

Rosie said...

i dunno. sounds to me like you miss it.

Terence McDanger said...

Not a whit. You'd think I'd suffer from incidental exposure as with the US election, but nope, I know absolutely NOTHING about this year's X Factor.

It feels fucking wonderful so it does.

Hurrah!

hope said...

Does it help that I'm female, yet have no idea what "X Factor" is? [I'm guessing some inane talent contest, like "American Idol"..and they can have Simon Cowell back any day, thanks!]

The trick is to get a "back up" remote. I did just that so when hubby falls asleep with the remote in his hand and flinches, changing the channel just as we are about to find out who-dunnit, I grab the second one and flip it back. Everyone's happy.

Then again, perhaps the trick is to get a more understanding woman. ;)

Terence McDanger said...

Does it help that I'm female, yet have no idea what "X Factor" is?

And now I know why you call yourself hope. You are your name personified.

I salute you.

Susan said...

Come back to Cyahvan, dear, to the best part of it out west, where we have no tv signal at all. We can buy you a satellite dish and purchase only the sports package for it, will that do ya?

Hell, at least you're posting about SOMETHING. Let's see if you can make it two in a row.

Go on then.
Go on.

Go.
ON.

Catherine @ Sharp Words said...

Awww, but you don't know what you're missing! There's the guy singing for his dead wife, there's the ex-junkie with 5 kids in care, there's the wee Norn Iron lad who's being threatened by both sides depending on whether or not he wears a poppy, there's a Spanish would-be sexpot... And then there's Louis, giving the Irish a bad name as always, and Cheryl Cole from Girls Aloud looking sexy and crying a lot.
I don't even watch it, I leave the room when it comes on for a bath or something. Sadly, it doesn't stop me knowing what's happening, just from reading the newspapers.

Catherine @ Sharp Words said...

I'll add that after reading Ben Elton's 'Chart Throb' which is a rampant piss-take of the X Factor and other such shows, I can't take that sort of thing seriously any more (not that I ever really could). His 'Dead Famous' also killed Big Brother for me (just as well.)

Radge said...

Obviously aware of how easy it is to become an idiot by osmosis in this world, I steer clear of UTV and TV3.

Terence McDanger said...

Arrah shtap Susan, I'm the proud poster of one in a row, allow me to dine out on that before raising the bar


@Catherine: Cheryl Cole from Girls Aloud looking sexy and crying a lot.

Sigh....that's how I picture her in my weaker moments as well...

@ Radge: Did you know that Osmosis backwards is Sisomso? It sounds like something a Japanese lady might wear. Interesting that, isn't it?

Radge? Raaaadge??

Moon said...

Absolutly brilliant... luckily, I have never watched such a crazy show... but I can safely say what a complete loads of old bollocks the show is ...

Baino said...

Erm culturally deficient antipodean here WTF is the X factor? If Moon thinks it's bollocks then I trust his judgement. (C'mon he likes dogs) At least you're not watching "I wanna be a skinny twit with gaffer tape around my head" *must visit Radge*

Terence McDanger said...

Ach it's one of those talent shows Baiono, with three judges and public voting and a whole pile of manufactured schlock and nonsense along the way. Makes me want to drag sandpaper across my balls, to put it bluntly.

Terence McDanger said...

...and spell your name incorrectly, evidently. :(

Moon said...

A cheese grater is what I tend to use ....

hope said...

Oh Dangerous One, kindly stop by my blog today and pick up your awards. :)

Annie A said...

I understand. And I blissfully know absolutely nothing about what's going on at Google HQ.

the broken down barman said...

the joys of x factor. having as well been forced to watch this inane programme by the hordes of harpies preventing my escape i try and succeed not succumb to the gentle charms of the girl aloud one, obviously on the programme to lose weight through dehydration and Kylie's sister trying to boost record sales. the stupid twit cowal is looking for an argument with every one and the Irish twit is just a twit!!!! never having watched anything but the hilarious auditions before i coward as every song was sung in such a bland and boring way, as if will youngs parents had sired a whole litter of musical non entities. what is this world coming to??? just pay me a visit and ill try to enlighten u..........

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