Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Those golden moments

I was at work, but away from my desk all day today, assigned a project with a colleague well hidden from bossly eyes. It could only mean one thing.

Frippery.

I like a bit of shitehawkery myself of course, but this is the sort of guy who'd ask questions like: "If Margaret Thatcher had a double barrell shotgun right? and just two cartridges, right? and she was challenged to a fight to the death in the woods with an unarmed grizzly bear, who do you think would win?"

So today he goes, apropos of nothing as usual: "C'mere, who's the worst bird you've ever fancied?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, I have a bit of a crush on Susan Sarandon. She's an OWL (Oul wan I'd like to, apparently, he came up with that one himself). And I wouldn't say no to Pink either, like I wouldn't be surprised if she actually had a cock or something but I'd say she's filthy in bed. I'd have taken a run at Steffi Graf too. Legs on her, Jasus.

"So who's the skeleton in the closet you'd like to bone huh huh?"

"Em...well...nobody really. No, wait. I remember when I was a kid I used to have a bit of a crush on Jessica Rabbit actually."

"Who?"

"Jessica Rabbit. From Who framed Roger Rabbit. She's, well...she's a cartoon."

Silence.

"With big boobs," I added hopefully, losing confidence somewhat.

"For fucks sake! A cartoon? Bwahhahahaha! You're some freak. Were you were mad after Olive Oyl as well? Jesus Christ!"

He rattled on for a while after that. He started slagging me off then about secret hankerings after Penelope Pitstop and Smurfette. I changed the subject as soon as I could. If it had kept going, I might have admitted that I had a crush on the bunny from the Cadbury's Caramel ads as well.

Was it love, back then, do you think? Sheer force of rabbit, I reckon.

23 moos and woofs:

Ashley said...

I always envied her and wanted to look like her when I grew up. She was a hottie. You're not a freak, you just like your women a bit colorful.

Radge said...

Margaret Thatcher.

Terence McDanger said...

Oh she was hot alright. The pair of...the size of her...the set of...ah fuck it, she had marvellous animations I guess.

Terence McDanger said...

G'man Radge.

Ya pithy shite ya:)

Holemaster said...

Did you ever see Gerry's girlfriend? (Tom and Gerry) She was cute.

Moon said...

Oh yeah, Jessie is a classic... giddy up .. and stefi as well... those loooooooong legs .... I would choose Cuddy from House, lisa Endstiene ish, whats-her-name ... Yeah Baby !

Susan said...

Your colleague is mental. Jessica Rabbit had me worried I was going 'the other way' there for a while. I mean, damn, you know. I never heard a word she said, looking at her.

Kath Lockett said...

No cartoon crushes for me - but guilty crushes did include Marti Pellow, C Thomas Howell (1980s versions) and Abba - all of 'em.

red leeroy said...

that Mona Lisa, jaysus, she's no oil painting but.........wait,No. Nancy Reagan.

Terence McDanger said...

Holemaster (love that name): I never laid eyes on Gerry's squeeze, no. I expect she was mousy looking though.

Moon, I'm loving your enthusiasm. I'd love to hear your views on the Cadbury Caramel bunny however.

Susan, if even women wanted to jump Jessica's bones as well, I am no longer feeling quite so silly now. And yes, my colleague is entirely mental.

Kath - Pellow has a fine voice on him but I don't appreciate him beyond there really. I have a lunatic auntie, the type that runs after me at weddings (still) looking for a dance and a kiss - and to this day she goes weak at the knees when she sees old Marti (with an 'i'. The shithead).

Red Leeroy, I am now officially more worried about you than myself. I bet you love the manly wan from the Golden Girls as well. Sicko!

Baino said...

OH just send him over to Maxi Cane for a doze of Cartoon Porn, that'll do his head in! Personally, I like my crushes in 3D although I fancy Grand Master Chief from Halo if only he'd take his helmut off!

Kev Brown said...

Nah, your not alone with the Jessica Rabbit thing!

RedLeeroy said...

no no, I didn't like the manly one, but that Estelle Getty jaysus she was a handsome woman...............

Maxi Cane said...

Howdy there Moo-Dog!

Holemaster:
The girlfriend was Toodles, she's number 7 in my list.

If I had to pick a weird fanciable it would have to be the Ginger one from Girls Aloud.

You'd have to wouldn't you?

Maxi Cane said...

Bollox, I got confused, that was Tom's missus.

Still would though.

The Man at the Pub said...

Firstly, I now realise the Margaret Thatcher vs. the bear was a rhetorical question. I was actually hoping for an answer.

I think the "worst bird you've ever fancied" is what you call a "borderline boiler", the "she's kind of ugly, and a bit fat, but I'd do'er anyways" type (nasty I know, but I learned about them from an old article in VIZ magazine, so blame the English).

Anyway, Jessica Rabbit was never borderline.. she was drop dead hot! And I always found Bugs Bunny strangely attractive when he was in drag trying to seduce Elmer Fudd.

Oh, and Lela from Futurama has a magnificent rack also.

Terence McDanger said...

Baino: less talk of helmuts please!

Kev: So I'm discovering. Everyone, it seems, wanted a piece of Jessica. Or two pieces to be precise.

Leeroy: Was the sluttish one that was always ridin'?

Maxi: Failte! (Cavan will take over the world).

Toodles eh? She sounds like baby slang for a big shite but I will investigate. And yes, at a push (arf), I'd be Tom to the Spice Girls Geri.

TMATP: There's definitely something about rabbits. Maybe it's their reputation for free love?

Now, Lois from Family Guy anyone?

ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 07.24
prada handbags, michael kors outlet, burberry, longchamp, michael kors, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet online, nike air max, michael kors outlet, coach outlet, oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, polo ralph lauren outlet, nike outlet, coach purses, ray ban sunglasses, coach outlet, longchamp outlet, true religion jeans, tiffany and co, chanel handbags, michael kors outlet, kate spade handbags, replica watches, gucci outlet, louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, kate spade outlet, tory burch outlet, oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, ray ban sunglasses, tiffany jewelry, nike air max, coach factory outlet, prada outlet, nike free, louboutin, christian louboutin outlet, longchamp outlet, louboutin shoes

ninest123 Ninest said...

ray ban pas cher, ralph lauren uk, vanessa bruno, new balance pas cher, louboutin pas cher, hermes, timberland, vans pas cher, true religion jeans, true religion jeans, ralph lauren pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, ray ban uk, nike blazer, converse pas cher, hollister, true religion outlet, michael kors, sac guess, sac longchamp, lululemon, air max, lacoste pas cher, michael kors, nike roshe run, hollister pas cher, north face, nike free run uk, longchamp pas cher, nike air max, air force, tn pas cher, oakley pas cher, hogan, mulberry, nike air max, north face, nike air max, nike free, air jordan pas cher, michael kors, burberry

ninest123 Ninest said...

p90x workout, nike huarache, baseball bats, giuseppe zanotti, jimmy choo shoes, beats by dre, instyler, iphone 6 cases, mac cosmetics, nike roshe, vans shoes, valentino shoes, ghd, nfl jerseys, hollister, ferragamo shoes, oakley, celine handbags, longchamp, wedding dresses, nike trainers, nike air max, reebok shoes, nike roshe, asics running shoes, mont blanc, north face outlet, mcm handbags, birkin bag, bottega veneta, soccer shoes, insanity workout, timberland boots, babyliss, chi flat iron, herve leger, abercrombie and fitch, hollister, north face outlet, soccer jerseys, new balance, lululemon

ninest123 Ninest said...

ray ban, pandora charms, ugg boots, pandora charms, nike air max, swarovski, juicy couture outlet, links of london, coach outlet, pandora jewelry, karen millen, thomas sabo, ugg pas cher, ugg boots uk, montre pas cher, vans, hollister, lancel, ralph lauren, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, ugg boots, bottes ugg, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, ugg boots, marc jacobs, toms shoes, supra shoes, converse outlet, louboutin, uggs on sale, hollister, wedding dresses, ugg boots, gucci, juicy couture outlet, swarovski crystal, converse, replica watches
ninest123 07.24

Qing Cai said...

oakley sunglasses
hollister uk
rolex watches,rolex watches,swiss watches,watches for men,watches for women,omega watches,replica watches,rolex watches for sale,rolex replica,rolex watch,cartier watches,rolex submariner,fake rolex,rolex replica watches,replica rolex
true religion jeans sale
coach outlet store
longchamp outlet
tory burch outlet
louis vuitton handbags
coach outlet online
true religion outlet
ghd hair straighteners
michael kors outlet uk
ray-ban sunglasses
true religion jeans
oakley sunglasses
rolex outlet
babyliss flat iron
coach outlet store
omega outlet
beats by dre
lululemon pants
true religion jeans
burberry outlet
mulberry handbags
bottega veneta outlet
coach outlet
ferragamo outlet
michael kors uk
chanel outlet store
fitflops sale
cai20160225

Liu Liu said...

The Giants will lean on rookie Andre Williams for at least Nike Air Max 90 one more week in New York's backfield.


Ralph Vacchiano of the New York Daily News reported Saturday that Rashad Jennings is not traveling with the team to Nike Free Run Seattle because of the knee injury that has shelved the veteran running back since Week 6. Officially listed as doubtful, Jennings' absence comes as no great suprise.

Also for Big Blue, defensive tackle wholesale jerseys shop Cullen Jenkins, cornerback Zack Bowman and pass rusher Mathias Kiwanuka are all questionable for Sunday's showdown with the Seahawks.

After showing tantalizing promise in the preseason, Williams has struggled of late in New York's backfield. The rookie hasn't topped four yards per carry in a game since Week 4 and spit out just 22 yards off Nike Roshe Run 12 attempts in Monday night's loss to the Colts. The Giants NFL Jerseys saw better production from second-year runner Michael Cox and the unkillable Peyton Hillis.

After throwing an outrageous 52 passes in the Indy defeat, new nike nfl jerseys Eli Manning is a candidate to take to the skies again if New York's running cheap sale jerseys game remains NFL Jerseys Store stuck in neutral against Seattle.

Post a Comment