Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Many's a slip...

...betwixt lip and zip.

As Shakespearean parody-porn might have had it. As you like it, indeed.

But sorry, this isn't at all erotic, not by my normal racy standards at any rate.

Thing is, I was out there for lunch and as soon as I exited the building I was met with a bracing wind that snapped me to a standstill and almost peeled my face off. I puffed and shuddered and stamped a wee bit from one foot to the other. Then I opted for a very dramatic and rapid up-pulling of the zip on my new coat, in a Jasus-look-at-me-everyone-I'm-the-only-cold-person-in-Dublin sort of attention seeking Thespian way.

But I did it with such an imperious flourish that I caught my fucking lip in the fucking zip. I've done this twice now in a month. It was sore. The coat is lovely because it's a North Face (it's after piping up at me just there from behind the chair: "Here, who are you calling North Face, you wanker?") and the collars are furry and cup your face when it's all done up to its fullest. I'm laying a trap for Maxi here, let's see if he comes in and bites.

But anyway, today, my lovely coat turned on me again.

So I want sympathy, and laughs. Sympathetic laughs, if you're pushed for time.

33 moos and woofs:

narocroc said...

Wuss. If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.

Terence McDanger said...

Bub ith's thore. Lithen! I'm buckin' swellin thup here.

Susan said...

What, no photo of the busted lip?

At least you didn't do it in front of the glory-haired web-toed beauty of a previous post, hm? So, it could have been worse.

But next time, let Mummy do it for you.

Radge said...

Dimwit.

Catherine @ Sharp Words said...

Sympathetic laugh obligingly delivered.

I don't think I've ever zipped up bits of my anatomy (apart from getting my hair caught) but I have hit myself in the face by zipping up my jacket too vigorously.

Red Leeroy said...

hmm, sym..pat..hy what is this new and crazy language you speak. However I did laugh. I am not a total robot.

hope said...

Laughed, shook my head and bit my lip in sympathy simultaneously. I've heard of gaining the upper hand, but never the upper lip.

Then again, that's part of your charm...doing things your way. ;)

Baino said...

Well if you stop sulking about the weather and stick your bottom lip in, it wouldn't have got in the way . . .just laughter from down under. (Although I have a thoft thpot for a man with a lithp)

Kath Lockett said...

Just how BIG are your lips, anyway?

If it makes you feel any better, my preggo dress blew up and over my head on a windy day in Collins Street, not only revealing my thigh-cutting tights but also my nanna pants. Thank god my face was covered.....

Terence McDanger said...

No photos Susan, in truth the first time it happened was worse, I really nipped my lip that time, this time it was more of a scrape and not as bad. Sore though.

Agreed Radge.

I've done that too Catherine. And when I was a smoker, I had a terrible habit of reaching to my mouth for the cigarette and sliding my fingers down it and over the lit end when trying to take it out of my mouth. Burny ouch ouch!

Leeroy, that's good enough, I'll take whatever you're offering.

Hope you're too kind. You can call me a dope, I don't mind.

Baino, doesd Sylvester the Cat get you all worked up then so? Thufferin' Thuckatage!

I read that one Kath! lol @ 'Thank God my face was covered.' Gosh yes, imagine the embarrassment if not!

Adullamite said...

"I caught my fucking lip in the fucking zip."


Ho HO! I laughed out loud at that!

T cup said...

ah your poor sausage!! how's that?

Terence McDanger said...

Adullamite, was it the neat rhymingness you liked or the thoughts of me in pain???

T Cup, now that's another story.
"WE HAVE A BLEEDER!"
(Jus' kiddin'. I've never had the misfortune...)

moon said...

You could catch much worse things in your zip !!

Niamh B said...

Back when I was young and single, and kissing boys and the like; I was kissing this French guy good bye, then zipping up his coat lovingly for him, I caught his lip in it. There was blood and all. Don't think I ever saw him again...except maybe from a distance, he was the one running far far away. Ah well

Terence McDanger said...

I know Moon, I know...but the cold shrinks those things as a natural protection from my ham-fisted ways...

Hi Niamh B, you're welcome here even though you're old and married now. Don't sweat your faux pas though, if he was a true Frencho he should have been wearing a duffel coat and a beret, the fucking faker.

Kath Lockett said...

Terence, you are now officially tagged. Ten things about your goodly self, starting with T. I'm nothing if not imaginative.

Niamh B said...

Thanks Terence, yeah - think he might've only been pretending - to be french, he said his name was Freddy for god's sake - no one from france is called Freddy,

hope said...

And when you finish your homework from Kath, I posted something yesterday which dealt with your comment on Heimlich. ;)

hootchinhannah said...

Even though you're coat's been bad to you it sounds like an amazing coat. The furry collar sold it for me. That and the fact it can talk.

Terence McDanger said...

Something beginning with T, Kath? I'll get right on it. After some reflection...

Niamh B - Freddy the Frenchman? I'd have smelled a rat right away. Well done on injuring him, the impostor.

Cheers hope, for an awful minute there I thought I'd offended you some way or another!

Hey hootchinhannah, when it's not turning on me and trying to gnaw my face off, it's comfortable, practical and otherwise polite and deferential.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

woohoohaha.

Hope that hit the spot...me dinner's nearly ready.

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