Thursday, February 26, 2009

Rapa Nui and chromosomes

Welcome to my heady and burgeoning times.

You may recall my tearjerker post of a few months ago, cataloguing my series of epic failures at, um, just about everything. For all of my days out there in white heat of competition, I had wilted always and bloomed never. Darts, athletics, pool, sumo wrestling, white water rafting, Bob-a-Job, Shave the Goat, University Challenge, Hungry Hippos and Kerplunk! – I flunked them all. Always finishing second.

That was until I went to a round table quiz last November and romped home with my team mates to claim a bounty of smoked salmon and red wine. That was a watershed day, the day Lady Luck took an almighty U-turn in my life.

The latest instalment? Last night, our crack commando team (we all wore undies though. I did anyway) reunited and went to another quiz and, yawn, we won again. Well okay, we sneaked seven on to a five-man team and four of them were girls but it was for charity and we handed back our €200 prizemoney as it was all for good causes. Namely, the Niall Mellon Township Trust, my ego and the Things to Blog About Foundation, in that order.

It’s irrefutable fact now that I will win every quiz I ever enter from here to eternity and without fear of overstatement, I announce to the world that I, Terence Alphonsus McDanger, know absolutely everything.
You should see me writing this. I’m wearing a suit of armour atop a white steed with my pennant a-snap and flapping in the breeze over my shoulder, as I survey my lands and watch for more of the good times coming teeming over the hills.

I’m literally cock-a-hoop. This sounds painful I know, but trust me, I’m actually in a good place. I’m strutting about, you know, doing that funny sort of funky get-down groovy walk people morph into when approaching a dance floor. That’s comedian Peter Kay’s observation but trust me, he won’t mind me taking it. He’s hardly going to mess with the man who knows everything, is he? I could fuck up his shit real bad like, if he starts thinking he knows stuff like what country the island of Rapa Nui belongs to, or how many pairs of chromosomes a woman has.

I’ve now taken to flexing my great matter in public too. I’ve just come back inside after standing in front of the GPO challenging passers-by to a quiz-off.

“Here you! Yeah, you.”

“Sorry, can I hel….”

“Yeah yeah, listen. Just ask me a question. Anything at all. I’ll answer it. I fucking know everything me. Go on, ask me a question, anything at all.”

“Em…ok…er….what is 1/4 of 1/2 of 1/5 of 200?”


“Right! Ask me another question, anything at all, I know fucking everything me.................”

19 moos and woofs:

Radge said...

You and your vainglorious boastaging!

It was all her. I can tell.

narocroc said...

Huzzah you quiz winning fiend!

Oh and it's 5. I think.

Susan said...

Everyone knows Rapa Nui doesn't *belong* to anyone, and is inhabited by space aliens imprisoned on earth for horrible crimes committed on their home planet, and they spend their centuries-long lifespans here carving strange large heads to keep from going absolutely mental.

(One of the places I've always wanted to visit!)

So can I be on your team next time?

hope said...

If you are indeed the All Knowing, how about tell me when I can expect to find a job worthy of me rather than toiling for the mental midgets I currently endure.

Thanking you in advance, your Greatness. :)

Red Leeroy said...

I wish blockbusters was still on. McDanger asking for a P please Bob. Dream within a dream.

Terence McDanger said...

Radge, one of the questions was how many ROI counties border Northern Ireland? I'm from Cavan, and I got it wrong. Ooooooh....

Correct answer Narocroc, none of the others even tried. Sheesh!

Let's do it Susan. I'm taking bookings,, I'm pimping myself out as a trivia guru. You can have me for free, just throw in a few pints of Smithwicks and we're square.

Hope, when the tides repel the creatures of the sea and the heavens point to the folly of man at evensong, only then can your destiny be revealed. He said, gnomically.

Blockbusters? Loved that show man it's only a matter of time before it makes a proper comeback. I even had it on Commodore 64 but the gold run was a separate game, FFS! One of the questions: What X was invented by Rontegen?

Baino said...

Congratulations ... I think I have loads of that useless information stashed away in the recesses of my poor excuse for a mind as well . . .just don't ask me to pinpoint a country that ends in . ..stan!

hope said...

You know, hanging with the Irish taught me the word shite. :)

But I love ya none the a proper kind of way, not such that it would interfere with your impending marriage plans.

Kath Lockett said...

Well done, Alphonsus. It so happens that I too, possess the all-knowing, all-winning, trivia-night gene.

Sure, I retired three years ago but the magic's still there.

Kath Lockett said...

I'm back again,this time to ask you a question. No, not trivia related, but meme related. Whilst your blog is looking a tad bare on the interior design front, I'll tag you for a meme about your living quarter's sense of style:

Holemaster said...

Did you see the nearly all Irish team make a total arse of the it last week? You should have been there Terence, you would have saved the day.

Anonymous said...

0, and has a range up to 100 meters (33 feet) as detailed on the Belkin website
at This Bluetooth USB Adapter allows you
to connect to your Bluetooth devices, transfer files, and
network to your various devices. 5 and 5. If the manufacturers have rolled
out such a device, then we will definitely put this on the top of
our list.

my blog post :: usb 16g

ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 07.24
prada handbags, michael kors outlet, burberry, longchamp, michael kors, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet online, nike air max, michael kors outlet, coach outlet, oakley sunglasses, jordan shoes, polo ralph lauren outlet, nike outlet, coach purses, ray ban sunglasses, coach outlet, longchamp outlet, true religion jeans, tiffany and co, chanel handbags, michael kors outlet, kate spade handbags, replica watches, gucci outlet, louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, kate spade outlet, tory burch outlet, oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, ray ban sunglasses, tiffany jewelry, nike air max, coach factory outlet, prada outlet, nike free, louboutin, christian louboutin outlet, longchamp outlet, louboutin shoes

ninest123 Ninest said...

ray ban pas cher, ralph lauren uk, vanessa bruno, new balance pas cher, louboutin pas cher, hermes, timberland, vans pas cher, true religion jeans, true religion jeans, ralph lauren pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, ray ban uk, nike blazer, converse pas cher, hollister, true religion outlet, michael kors, sac guess, sac longchamp, lululemon, air max, lacoste pas cher, michael kors, nike roshe run, hollister pas cher, north face, nike free run uk, longchamp pas cher, nike air max, air force, tn pas cher, oakley pas cher, hogan, mulberry, nike air max, north face, nike air max, nike free, air jordan pas cher, michael kors, burberry

ninest123 Ninest said...

p90x workout, nike huarache, baseball bats, giuseppe zanotti, jimmy choo shoes, beats by dre, instyler, iphone 6 cases, mac cosmetics, nike roshe, vans shoes, valentino shoes, ghd, nfl jerseys, hollister, ferragamo shoes, oakley, celine handbags, longchamp, wedding dresses, nike trainers, nike air max, reebok shoes, nike roshe, asics running shoes, mont blanc, north face outlet, mcm handbags, birkin bag, bottega veneta, soccer shoes, insanity workout, timberland boots, babyliss, chi flat iron, herve leger, abercrombie and fitch, hollister, north face outlet, soccer jerseys, new balance, lululemon

ninest123 Ninest said...

ray ban, pandora charms, ugg boots, pandora charms, nike air max, swarovski, juicy couture outlet, links of london, coach outlet, pandora jewelry, karen millen, thomas sabo, ugg pas cher, ugg boots uk, montre pas cher, vans, hollister, lancel, ralph lauren, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, ugg boots, bottes ugg, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, ugg boots, marc jacobs, toms shoes, supra shoes, converse outlet, louboutin, uggs on sale, hollister, wedding dresses, ugg boots, gucci, juicy couture outlet, swarovski crystal, converse, replica watches
ninest123 07.24

Xianjun Ranqin said...

qihang0907,louis vuitton
nike store
toms wedges
coach outlet
michael kors handbags
louis vuitton handbags
adidas superstars
adidas outlet
kevin durant shoes 2015
oakley sunglasses
michael kors uk
michael kors outlet
ugg boots sale
wholesale jerseys
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton handbags
gucci belt
cheap oakley sunglasses
barbour uk
ugg boots
marc jacobs outlet
nike air force
louis vuitton bags
ghd straighteners
louis vuitton outlet
coach outlet
uggs on sale
louis vuitton
gucci outlet
burberry outlet online
celine luggage tote
coach factory outlet online
michael kors outlet online
oakley sunglasses

Qing Cai said...

oakley sunglasses sale
mulberry outlet
ralph lauren outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
coach outlet online
lululemon outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
ferragamo shoes
kate spade uk
tiffany jewelry
tiffany outlet
ralph lauren polo
michael kors uk
coach outlet
coach outlet
ferragamo shoes sale
ferragamo shoes
ferragamo outlet
hollister shirts
fitflops clearance
tiffany and co
ferragamo shoes
tory burch outlet
celine outlet online
tiffany jewelry
tory burch outlet
kate spade uk outlet
tiffany jewelry
lululemon uk
coach outlet store

Hua Cai said...

coach outlet
polo shirts
oakley sunglasses
coach outlet store
cartier sunglasses for men
michael kors outlet
true religion outlet
longchamp solde
polo ralph lauren
cheap nfl jersey
michael kors outlet online
oakley sunglasses wholesale
coach factory outlet
cheap soccer jerseys
fitflops clearance
jordan pas cher
coach outlet online
ray ban sunglasses
hollister uk
michael kors outlet
mont blanc outlet
ray ban sunglasses
snapbacks wholesale
ralph lauren femme
pandora outlet
adidas outlet store
louis vuitton handbags outlet
tory burch outlet online
lululemon outlet online
michael kors handbags
longchamp outlet online
discount oakley sunglasses
ferragamo outlet
replica watches
hermes outlet store

Post a Comment