Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Crisping evening

I don't eat crisps (very often) except when I have a hangover (today) so I'm not very au fait with trends and fashions in the fast-shifting flavours world. I am vaguely aware though that there has been a general shift away from the fundamentalist tastes of our youth like cheese and onion, towards a more eclectic cast like Thai Sweet Chili and cracked blackpeppercorn buffalo wing barbecue beef and what not.

That much accepted, I was somewhat underprepared for the new Walkers ones that I encountered in the shop just now.

Builders Breakfast and Onjion Bhaji? What????

Do they name crisps now based on what your farts smell like afterwards?

Do me a flavour indeed. Well not on command, but I could work up to one given an hour's notice and some pistachios.

I had the Hula Hoops by the way, salt and vinegar, although was disappointed they won't slip over the ends of my fingers any more, and me all ready to recapture my youth with impressions of Liberace and nibbling my hands off.

29 moos and woofs:

Susan said...

They really should make adult-sized hula hoops.

Your cow is scaring me.

Radge said...

Walkers have chocolate flavoured crisps now. Honest to...

Baino said...

Ahh Cheese and Onion, they never got them quite right out here. I'm so old that I remember little blue wax wrapped salt bundles in plain chips . . you sprinkled it yourself. Love the cow! I'm not game to try the Wesleys Tangy Goats Cheese . . .

Terence McDanger said...

That's just typical Susan! Yourself and hope give me a hard time about the falloff in cowage and now that I make the effort - unveiling the staring champion himself no less - you're running off scared! He won't hurt you. He just likes to stare a bit is all.

Chocolate flavoured crisps, Radge? Ah fuck off! I know there's chocolate scented Lynx deodorant, but chocolate crisps? Jasus. Zig and Zag weren't far wrong years ago with their gags about meat flavoured ice cream.

Atta girl Baino, there's a gal who appreciates a good bovine.
So you sprinkled the flavour yourself back in the day? Jasus. Wouldn't like that now, some would be all salty and the others tasteless. Oh no. That wouldn't do at all...

hope said...

That cow made me laugh so hard I almost fell out of my chair. :) Thank you.

Yes sadly, the cow was the best part of my day. Sorry Susan, but I can just hear that cow, "Psst! Hey you. Yes YOU! Pay attention if you're going to stare. Have I told you what happened when I came home? There I was, finally walking into the house when I found McDanger,if that is indeed his real name,and he was...."

Oh come on. You're a creative lot. ;) You finish it.

Meadow said...

What an amazing cow picture.

I think they also have Cajun Squirrel.

Dublin Pigeon would be an interesting flavour.

Irish Begrudger said...

I hear you Terrence. I've just thrown out half a big of 'Coddle and Lettuce' crisps. Awful stuff. Can't believe I persevered with the first two bags, let alone the last half bag.

Incidentally, I'd like to inform you that I took the cow to a stalemate in a no-laugh staring competition. After 24 hours, neither of us had flinched, and I really couldn't afford to take another day off work. She's a tough competitor. The toughest I've fought...

Adullamite said...

It does NOT make you old remembering little blue wax packets of salt in crisps. It DOESN'T make you old hear!!!!

narocroc said...

Pig in shit flavour. Spreading the happiness. Coming soon to a newsagent near you.

Maxi Cane said...

I don't like Walkers, they refused my suggestion of "Yer ma" as a flavour.

Personally I'd like to see "Charlotte Church's minge" as a flavour.

Or "That girl who works in the dole office who just needs a good length from somebody like me, because let's face it she's obviously gagging for it".

But they probably pay by the letter for their packet labelling.

Kitty Cat said...

Wheelies, Smith's bacon fries, Waffles and Rancheroes. BEST CRISPS EVER. But never Smokey Bacon.

I want to be friends with the cow. I like the cut of his jib. Or gib. Whichever.

Flann O'Coonassa said...

Smiths's bacon fries? Not Tayto? With our economy on its knees? Utterly treasonous. Next you'll be advocating fancy Italian pizza over Four Star.

Kitty Cat said...

Well, I'll happily take Wheelies too Mr O'Coonassa, even though I recently realised they're something like 55c now which is ridiculous seeing as I can remember them being 10p but given the choice, tis a close run race.

Red Leeroy said...

We got all six weirdo flavours in work and then voted on them, Onion bhaji won. I called builders breakfast but was shouted down for being too eggy. The fascists.

Terence McDanger said...

Hope and Meadow, I'm glad you appreciate the new Moo around here. Isn't he lovely? Sigh, there's so much happening in that face...

Cajun squirel you say? Must have missed that one. I don't think I've ever farted a cajun squirrel either come to think of it, but the weekend is nearly here I suppose there's time yet...

Ah the good ole coddle! Gone off leftover stew congealed into a gloopy paste and only eaten as a test of machismo, even by women!
And listen begrudger, if you take on a world champ you gotta be prepared to put the time in.

Adullamite I just asked my eldest sister and she remembers it too, so ok, maybe it's not prehistoric after all...

Piginshit. It's actually alright sounding when you run it all together. "Packet of piginshits and a quarter of bonbons please." Yeah I could go for that narocroc.

Maxi what is it with girls in the dole office? The time I was on the scratcher back in the day, the lassie they had dealing with me, well Jasus such a ROIDE how was I supposed to be encouraged to get a job when I could traipse in and out and stare down her top any time I wanted? Holy moly...

Kitty Cat I think you're getting tripped over in the branding there, they are effectively the same thing you know. But yes, Rancheros are truly superior snacks, defo up there in the hangover survival kit.
And be friends with the cow. He's my statue of liberty, saying give me your tired, your poor and your huddled masses and whatnot...

Flann - welcome by the way - I think we'll going back to the ole homemade chip pan before long. It'll be a nice return to tradition until some poor fucker goes up in flames...

Leeroy, you road test crisps at work? I honestly cringe when I think of the chemicals and junk they concoct to make these 'tastes'.

Interesting fact unrelated to anything above: I was digging in the garden as a kid and I found a Tayto cheese and onion wrapper with 3p price tag on the front. No way says you! But yes, I intone gravely in return, it did. So now for ya.

Kitty Cat said...

Effectively the same thing, perhaps, but only in terms of flavour, McDanger! As you can see I'm somewhat addicted to bacon flavour crisps.

I think I WILL be friends with him so. Such a friendly, if bemused face.

Terence McDanger said...

I selected him specifically for his quizzical benign visage Kitty Cat. I'll have fun with teh captions from here on I think.

Hundreds applied for the role, but now I've really found the face of MooDog.

Mary Harney came third.

PRyin said...

What Red said except that day I was too hungover to try any.

But I also want to say I am wholly and completely grateful and forever in your debt Terrence.
I always knew it was never 'ofey'.
How could it be? And I always despised using the phrase.

I am thrilled. It's better than I ever imagined.
I now go forth...
"Excuse me colleague, I have a quick question. Are you at all au fait with our current process?.."

I will pick something particularly complicated and intricate, something I know they won't be au fait with and thereby go hence and ask the same of each and everyone in the office.

They will think I'm being a total dick. They will be correct. But... I will be correctly using the term. Yesss!

That is to say... I will be au fait with it.

Terence McDanger said...

PRyin, That's 'A au fait' by me, BA BOOM FUCKIN BOOM!

Flann O'Coonassa said...

Terence, is it normal to believe that the cow is hypnotising you into a malleable state, in which you'll commit terrible crimes on her behalf? Certainly, I'm feeling an unquenchable ire toward dairy farmers and sheep (the cows oldest and most bitter enemies).

Terence McDanger said...

Flann, the cow is posed in such a way that we can project anything on to him we like. He is all things to all men. He's whatever you want him to be baby, just not in the leopardskin-print-short-skirt-lowcut-top-streetwalker type way.

Flann O'Coonassa said...

just not in the leopardskin-print-short-skirt-lowcut-top-streetwalker type way(Sigh) The search continues...

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