Secondary school. Cavan. Me and the lads had a band, and we tried real hard. It was the summer of '69. But Jimmy was shit, Jody caught rabies, I shoulda known we'd never get far, at least until we cut those two wankers and got some real artistes together. Yeah well, we would do just that, and how.

It wasn't so much a teenage fad as a sense of mission. We wanted to make real music. Real music that lasted and lingered, no smalltown bubblegum shit here. We had a voice and a message and zeal and panache and I tell you when we set free our funky new sound in the study hall that very first lunchtime, the air fizzed and crackled around us and those fifth year cats went wild, crazy wild. Even the nerds abandoned their homework and cut loose, throwing each other through windows and slapping themsevles around the room with their maths books. We looked at each other and just knew. We had it. We were going to make it for sure. We breathed in deep and said it loud: We were going to join the elite, and become Cavan's very first Something and the Something Elses band.

Now that hip-swinging sexmeister Big Tom and the Mainliners had got there first and was already whipping up a Something and the Something Elses storm up the road in Monaghan, so we needed a new brand and indentity to marry off to our fresh new sound. We liked Echo and the Bunnymen, for the sheer rabbit erotica and sexual potency of it, so we chanced along similar lines with Gecko and the Fannymen for a while. Eventually though, we settled on Terence and the Binliners.

Man we soared so high so fast in those early years our eyeballs rolled in our heads like a fruit machine. The people had been crying out for us for years, they just didn't know it until they actually got us. We tore up the Cavan scene. Hellfire, Cavan didn't even know it had a scene till we arrived and invented it, and reinvented it, painted it red from top to toe and tore it up all over again just for the almighty headfuck of it all. We ripped Cavan a whole new asshole.

(Incidentally, Cavan was officially at that stage the only county with two assholes, until Foster and Allen came along and equalled the feat for Westmeath.)

So we ripped and tore, soared and flew, living to gig, gigging to live. It was a sweaty, boozy, drugsy time man, totally fucked up. We first magicked our very own zeitgeist in 1970 when we played a memorable series of three gigs over a Bank Holiday weekend at a Scout Jamboree in Crossdoney. 'Woodchop' they called it. It all went totally ape when our tunes got into their hormones and then the fucking Girl Guides turned up and seventeen youngsters were hospitalized after injuries sustained while trying to figure out how to have sex with each other.

These were mental times. We rode the whirlwind baby, for the next three years. Then one night at a fundraiser to purchase pipecleaners for the Ballyhaise Chess and Draughts Society, John Joe on the bass got arrested for simulating oral sex into the microphone, although he maintains to this day he was just struggling with a gobstopper. Regardless, the Binliners were driven underground by the preachy Catholic majority. This had come just a few months after we had got in a backstage theological argument with a Jewish all-girl band, Phyllis and the Steins, and ended up making the wrong sort of headlines. We just laid low for a while and rode it out, holed ourselves up in a wood cabin on the shores of Lough Sheelin and wrote some new stuff.

The following spring we were back. Same funky sound, more mature with a rougher edge, and a new identity. Terence and the Binliners was a dead project, but Pervy Pete and the Pantyliners were here to take their place.

Teenage gigs were way too chaotic for us to handle now security-wise, man those crazy sonsofbitches and their chicks were wild just to get shocked from the sheer electric eels in crammed pants that was us. So we picked up a few wedding gigs, most notable of which involved a prominent Civil Servant in charge of the Government Statistics Office. The bride was a botanist with massive boobs called Annie and shit man with all those horny single gals there that night there wasn't a dry seat in the house when we played our stripped-down version of John Denver's Annie's Song. That godamn roof blew clean off with the surge of energy when we sang the first line: "You fill out my census, you're a bell-breasted florist."

Fucking wild times man, fucking wild times. But yet...the guys dreamed back to former glories and wanted back where the action was. Weddings, funerals and christenings were all well and good for putting Charlie on the table but we worked best in the broiling, pulsating thrusting sexpit scene we'd created ourselves years before

The decision was effectively taken for us in '76 when we played Amsterdam and lead guitarist Randy McPleurisy went crazy in the brothels and got into heavy debt to local loansharks, and the local fuzz were totally corrupt so we were sent home in disgrace. We had to take our medicine and let it all blow over so we quietly split the band up, but would come back triumphant just six months later with a new double album. Playing on our near-death experience of almost but not quite splitting up, we were now known as Kiefer and the Flatliners, but nobody got it because, eh, the film wouldn't be made for a further 20 years. So we quickly changed tack, changed all our names to Andrew by deed poll and seeking a more playful bent and new cultures, went on a tour of South American mountain villages calling ourselves........

Andys in the Andes.

We didn't know it then, but these would be our best years, because when we got back, it was to world that had moved on without us.


Part II coming soon....

20 moos and woofs:

Susan said...

What, was the Commitments on the television again?

The Andes comment has me craving chocolate...gotta go...

Baino said...

. . "electric eels crammed in pants" *snigger*

hope said...

There is a reason I go to work...so I can come home, read about your wild life and giggle until the bad thoughts disappear.

I thank you.

Hey Susan, could you pass those Andes mints?

Rutland Place said...

Is this true?

Meadow said...

I was there, man. At Woodchop. I don't remember a thing. But I was there, man.

Terence McDanger said...

Susan why does that make you think of chocolate? I'm perplexeth.
But yes, this is my rock and roll biography. Part II is even wilder but with a lovely happy ending. I guess it's just time I let you good folks know who I am behind the mask.

Baino! The eye reads what the mind wants to see, eh? :) The line was 'electric eels in crammed pants' but I wrote it that way on purpose. I was being all high falutin' and experimentin' with sytle and shit. I'm very tiresome really.

Hope I'm glad you enjoyed it but get the hankie out for Part II it's a real tearjerker.

Meadow, I saw you! Was that you with the geek glasses and duffle coat???? :)

Adullamite said...

Fantastic!
That made me dig out the 'Cream' album and hear good music again!
Woohoooooooo!

Anonymous said...

ray ban sunglasses, louis vuitton handbags, air max, coach purses, prada handbags, longchamp outlet, gucci outlet, louis vuitton outlet online, ray ban, kate spade outlet, coach factory, nike air max, jordan shoes, oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren, true religion, true religion jeans, nike free, louboutin, nike air max, nike shoes, tory burch outlet, oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, louboutin, toms shoes, oakley sunglasses, tiffany and co, burberry outlet online, michael kors outlet, coach outlet store, true religion outlet, coach factory outlet, chanel handbags, oakley sunglasses, coach outlet, air max, michael kors outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet

Anonymous said...

louis vuitton, longchamp, air max, ralph lauren, ralph lauren, insanity, supra shoes, new balance shoes, timberland, rolex watches, reebok outlet, hogan, bottega, lululemon, lancel, mulberry, louboutin, mcm handbags, nike free, yoga pants, north face outlet, mont blanc, birkin bag, ghd, beats by dre, marc jacobs, vans, louis vuitton, abercrombie and fitch, nfl jerseys, nike air max, nike free, valentino, converse shoes, hollister, chi flat iron, air jordan, karen millen, ferragamo shoes, juicy couture outlet

Anonymous said...

Howdy! This article could not be written much better!
Looking through this post reminds me of my
previous roommate! He continually kept talking about
this. I most certainly will send this post to him.
Fairly certain he will have a great read. Many
thanks for sharing!

Check out my web page best dating sites

Ting Cai said...

instyler ionic styler pro
kate spade handbags
louboutin shoes
longchamp handbags
tods shoes
burberry outlet online
coach outlet store
ed hardy t-shirts
ralph lauren
toms shoes outlet online
adidas wings
celine handbags
louis vuitton outlet stores
michael kors outlet
christian louboutin
cheap mlb jerseys
lululemon outlet
mcm bags
ghd hair straighteners
converse shoes
true religion jeans
adidas shoes
beats headphones
air force 1 shoes
tod's shoes
adidas wings
mont blanc pens for sale
lebron james shoes
nfl jerseys
ferragamo belts
michael kors outlet
jordan 11
nba jerseys wholesale
foamposite shoes
fred perry shirts
coach outlet
salomon running shoes
burberry handbags
timberland outlet
karen millen sale
caiting0401

Ting Cai said...

oakley sunglasses
oakley sunglasses
valentino shoes
hollister uk
celine outlet
tiffany and co
mcm handbags
kobe shoes
air force 1 shoes
fred perry polo shirts
marc jacobs
hollister clothing
chanel handbags
herve leger
air jordan 4
coach outlet online
ray ban sunglasses
burberry outlet online
instyler ionic styler
louis vuitton outlet
kate spade handbags
tods outlet
ray ban uk
pandora jewelry
air jordan shoes
abercrombie and fitch
abercrombie
thomas sabo uk
prada handbags
abercrombie and fitch
ray ban
rolex watches
kobe 9
ray ban sunglasses
burberry outlet
new balance shoes
giuseppe zanotti
ralph lauren outlet
ferragamo shoes
cheap nhl jerseys
caiting0504

ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 07.23
replica watches, oakley sunglasses, burberry, oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet, coach factory outlet, nike free, louboutin outlet, ray ban sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, kate spade handbags, longchamp outlet, kate spade outlet, tiffany and co, prada outlet, michael kors, tiffany jewelry, tory burch outlet, michael kors outlet, chanel handbags, nike outlet, louboutin, coach outlet, jordan shoes, prada handbags, michael kors outlet, coach outlet, longchamp outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet, christian louboutin outlet, longchamp, michael kors outlet, nike air max, burberry outlet online, nike air max, oakley sunglasses, gucci outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet

ninest123 Ninest said...

timberland, michael kors, north face, sac longchamp, air force, true religion jeans, true religion jeans, hollister pas cher, louboutin pas cher, longchamp pas cher, nike air max, new balance pas cher, coach purses, lululemon, air jordan pas cher, nike roshe run, vans pas cher, ray ban uk, air max, true religion outlet, hollister, nike blazer, hermes, michael kors, michael kors, mulberry, lacoste pas cher, north face, sac guess, tn pas cher, vanessa bruno, ralph lauren uk, nike free, oakley pas cher, burberry, ralph lauren pas cher, true religion jeans, ray ban pas cher, converse pas cher, hogan

ninest123 Ninest said...

ferragamo shoes, reebok shoes, soccer shoes, mont blanc, babyliss, asics running shoes, chi flat iron, p90x workout, valentino shoes, north face outlet, vans shoes, lululemon, nike huarache, longchamp, nike air max, new balance, herve leger, mac cosmetics, mcm handbags, nike trainers, celine handbags, abercrombie and fitch, insanity workout, ghd, beats by dre, wedding dresses, nike free run uk, nike roshe, nfl jerseys, abercrombie and fitch, soccer jerseys, birkin bag, bottega veneta, instyler, north face outlet, nike roshe, giuseppe zanotti, hollister, jimmy choo shoes, nike air max

ninest123 Ninest said...

replica watches, thomas sabo, louboutin, montre pas cher, juicy couture outlet, coach outlet, supra shoes, vans, juicy couture outlet, toms shoes, hollister, gucci, timberland boots, nike air max, pandora charms, ralph lauren, oakley, ray ban, swarovski, nike air max, marc jacobs, pandora charms, links of london, hollister, converse outlet, swarovski crystal, iphone 6 cases, karen millen, hollister, pandora jewelry, wedding dresses, baseball bats, converse, lancel
ninest123 07.23

chenlina said...

chenlina20151202
coach outlet store online
nike roshe run women
louis vuitton
nike trainers uk
louis vuitton
oakley sunglasses
ugg boots
coach outlet
the north face uk
cheap uggs
coach outlet store online
abercrombie and fitch new york
air max 90
louis vuitton outlet
tory burch sale
polo ralph lauren outlet
timberland outlet
jordan retro
lebron 11
oakley sunglasses
louis vuitton purses
abercrombie
ray ban sunglasses outlet
michael kors handbags
canada goose outlet
ugg boots outlet
replica rolex watches
ugg boots outlet
mont blanc pens
michael kors handbags
canada goose coats
cheap uggs
ugg clearance
michael kors outlet online
uggs for men
christian louboutin
oakley outlet
louis vuitton handbags
instyler max
uggs outlet
as

chenlili said...

michael kors outlet online
uggs for women
uggs outlet
boston celtics jerseys
louis vuitton outlet
coach factory outlet
cheap air jordans
toms outlet
prada outlet
fitflops uk
coach factory outlet
adidas superstar
coach outlet
ray ban sunglasses
ugg boots
uggs outlet
louis vuitton outlet
the north face outlet
coach outlet store online clearances
cheap jordan shoes
cheap uggs
ugg boots cheap
ralph lauren
coach outlet clearance
polo ralph lauren
coach factory outlet
michael kors handbags
prada handbags
ralph lauren outlet
los angeles clippers jerseys
hollister clothing
nike outlet store
nfl jerseys wholesale
oakley sunglasses
coach outlet store online
cleveland cavaliers jerseys
gucci belts
rolex watches
chenlili20160912

Liu Liu said...

The Giants will lean on rookie Andre Williams for at least Nike Air Max 90 one more week in New York's backfield.


Ralph Vacchiano of the New York Daily News reported Saturday that Rashad Jennings is not traveling with the team to Nike Free Run Seattle because of the knee injury that has shelved the veteran running back since Week 6. Officially listed as doubtful, Jennings' absence comes as no great suprise.

Also for Big Blue, defensive tackle wholesale jerseys shop Cullen Jenkins, cornerback Zack Bowman and pass rusher Mathias Kiwanuka are all questionable for Sunday's showdown with the Seahawks.

After showing tantalizing promise in the preseason, Williams has struggled of late in New York's backfield. The rookie hasn't topped four yards per carry in a game since Week 4 and spit out just 22 yards off Nike Roshe Run 12 attempts in Monday night's loss to the Colts. The Giants NFL Jerseys saw better production from second-year runner Michael Cox and the unkillable Peyton Hillis.

After throwing an outrageous 52 passes in the Indy defeat, new nike nfl jerseys Eli Manning is a candidate to take to the skies again if New York's running cheap sale jerseys game remains NFL Jerseys Store stuck in neutral against Seattle.

dong dong23 said...

oakley sunglasses cheap
louboutin outlet
michael kors bags
mont blanc pens
michael kors
timberland outlet
fitflops
ralph lauren
vans shoes
ray ban sunglasses
20172.28wengdongdong

Post a Comment