Wednesday, May 13, 2009

When The Somethings and the Something Elses ruled the world - Part 2


Fuuuuuck man we thought the Swanlinbar gigs in '71 were wild out but we found the real mountainy people down in South America. And boy did we put the rock into those mountains. Listen, there's too many mental highlights to list and most are just half-drugged mirages anyway, but a definite standout was the charity gig we played for a team of sexy Uruguyan synchronized swimmers. Apparently those fit n'funky well-timed babes had been trapped in the snowy mountains for nearly three months after a plane crash and, in danger of starving alive, had resorted to eating each other. And not in the good way, as John Joe said when he heard.

Anyway, the moving tribute song we played them, (penned by heartbroken bassist Tossy McMonagle about a former lover of his called Debra who wore oversize animal-print bras), touched all who heard it that night. We'd borrowed the tune from Abracadabra and crooned tenderly: "Them bras, them bras of Debras, they bounce like two humping zebras.” They lapped it up. They didn’t understand a fucking word of it mind you, but they loved it anyway. They clapped in perfect unison, as you’d expect.

We got back from South America after a decade of debauchery, via Greece, where we played final summers of glory as Alfie and the Omegas. We found a changed world on our return, however. Deprived of us for the better part of 15 years, all our fans had deserted us; moved on, grown up, grown out of us. Fuck man, grown pubes. The night Hughie Walsh booked us to play on the back of a lorry at the Animal Husbandry festival in Blacklion, and were only the support act to Declan bleedin’ Nerney, we knew were fucked.

We stood there that wet night in 1986 for all the world like trepidatious Princes in our private Purple Rains, facing down a bemused crowd that had either fallen out of love with us or plain just didn't know who we were. The wet weather tap-splatted a grim drum beat on the roof above us. Time slowed down. And just like we did in the study hall at school all those years before, we took one look at each other and we just knew. It was done. It was over. We just plugged out our equipment right there and walked off stage for the last time, accompanied not by the fervent torrent of underwear we'd always known, but by a piercing protest screech of feedback from the disconnect of the speakers.

So there we were. So there it was. The night the magic packed up and fucked off. The era of the Somethings and the Something Elses was over forever, not just for us, but indeed, all across our scene. Big Tom couldn't pull a crowd any more in Monaghan, Spittin’ Seamus and the Shoeshine Boys lost their record deal too.

But was it truly the end, or just the beginning?

I remember lifting the tarpaulin out the back of the lorry that last night and the lads trooped silently past me, heads down. Tossy clutched himself in anguish and had tears in his eyes. I put a steadying hand on his shoulder, but he brushed me off telling me not to be gay. Turns out he wasn't upset at all, he was just hurting because he'd sat down too quickly earlier that day and tourniqueted his balls in his thong.

I took a deep breath and walked down the rickity steps, and bumped right into a lone autograph hunter with tears in her eyes and black mascara streaks on her face. All the hordes of babes, the money, the fast cars, the drugs, the fast sex, the babes, paying money for the sex in the fast cars while taking the drugs, and the hot nights in the Carraig Springs Hotel, and the sex, well, this was what we were reduced to now.

But wait. She was a fox man. An absolute fucking ten. What a chick!

"Tell me it's not over," she sobbed. "Tell me you’ll be back! Please! Make a come back like you always do, change your name to Spuddy Ollie and the Hornrims or something!"

"Babe," I said, leaning into her eyes, "when the magic goes, it goes. You only chase it away forever when you try to get it back and it doesn't want it. It's over babe."

She handed me her autograph book and said "Jeez Terence, you know, sniff, you really were something you know."

"And you," I said, handing her back the book with an impish grin, "really are something else."

15 moos and woofs:

Meadow said...

'leaning into her eyes' - love that!

I bet you still have the magic, Terence.

Terence McDanger said...

Sometimes I dust off the old axe alright, Meadow. There's nothing like a blast of the Ace of Spades to blow the cobwebs off, but the others in the Church choir generally don't join in and the priest doesn't be right fond of it either, but you know, the vibe is and always will be my true master...

Susan said...

So that WAS you and your somethings that I saw at the ol' husbandry festival way back when. Golden days, those. Hell to get old.

"Alphie and the Omegas": class!!

hope said...

Kindly pass me a tissue.

No I'm not crying, I think they're tears of joy from laughing so hard. No, of course not AT you...with you. ;)

Baino said...

All good things must come to an end. At least there's Rock Band and World Tour. I wish KISS and Joe Cocker would take your fine example and go away because their magic went with the washing up water!

Adullamite said...

I have tears in my eyes now.....

Red Leeroy said...

you old smoothie, I wept. 5 Stars.

Terence McDanger said...

Susan that was us alright! We were staples at the Animal Husbandry festival alright, the year Tossy took a notion and mixed up the samples in the artificial insemination tent, well...we were persona non grata round Blacklion for a while afterwards, although the pigs with chickens' heads really put them on the map in the pre-Dolly the Sheep days. (PS Alphie and the Omegas was my favourite of all the silly band names as well)

Told you you'd need a tissue hope, it was a real tear-jerker like I promised. Only a heart of ice could fail to be moved. I'm crying typing this.

Baino...those guys are a cautionary lesson and proof positive we did the right thing by walking away. When the magic goes, it goes, and you only chase it away...

Adullamite, like I said, who could read that without dissolving into a blubbering mess of salty tears? Be not ashamed, you're only human.

Ah cheers Leeroy. I'll send you on one of our old platinum discs for your wall, it'll look great on 'desked.' I must admit, I've felt like an impostor here for so long, not having revealed my hedonistic past of global fame. I feel we can move on together now.

ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 07.23
replica watches, oakley sunglasses, burberry, oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet, coach factory outlet, nike free, louboutin outlet, ray ban sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, kate spade handbags, longchamp outlet, kate spade outlet, tiffany and co, prada outlet, michael kors, tiffany jewelry, tory burch outlet, michael kors outlet, chanel handbags, nike outlet, louboutin, coach outlet, jordan shoes, prada handbags, michael kors outlet, coach outlet, longchamp outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet, christian louboutin outlet, longchamp, michael kors outlet, nike air max, burberry outlet online, nike air max, oakley sunglasses, gucci outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet

ninest123 Ninest said...

timberland, michael kors, north face, sac longchamp, air force, true religion jeans, true religion jeans, hollister pas cher, louboutin pas cher, longchamp pas cher, nike air max, new balance pas cher, coach purses, lululemon, air jordan pas cher, nike roshe run, vans pas cher, ray ban uk, air max, true religion outlet, hollister, nike blazer, hermes, michael kors, michael kors, mulberry, lacoste pas cher, north face, sac guess, tn pas cher, vanessa bruno, ralph lauren uk, nike free, oakley pas cher, burberry, ralph lauren pas cher, true religion jeans, ray ban pas cher, converse pas cher, hogan

ninest123 Ninest said...

ferragamo shoes, reebok shoes, soccer shoes, mont blanc, babyliss, asics running shoes, chi flat iron, p90x workout, valentino shoes, north face outlet, vans shoes, lululemon, nike huarache, longchamp, nike air max, new balance, herve leger, mac cosmetics, mcm handbags, nike trainers, celine handbags, abercrombie and fitch, insanity workout, ghd, beats by dre, wedding dresses, nike free run uk, nike roshe, nfl jerseys, abercrombie and fitch, soccer jerseys, birkin bag, bottega veneta, instyler, north face outlet, nike roshe, giuseppe zanotti, hollister, jimmy choo shoes, nike air max

ninest123 Ninest said...

replica watches, thomas sabo, louboutin, montre pas cher, juicy couture outlet, coach outlet, supra shoes, vans, juicy couture outlet, toms shoes, hollister, gucci, timberland boots, nike air max, pandora charms, ralph lauren, oakley, ray ban, swarovski, nike air max, marc jacobs, pandora charms, links of london, hollister, converse outlet, swarovski crystal, iphone 6 cases, karen millen, hollister, pandora jewelry, wedding dresses, baseball bats, converse, lancel
ninest123 07.23

chenlina said...

coach outlet store online
nike roshe run women
louis vuitton
nike trainers uk
louis vuitton
oakley sunglasses
ugg boots
coach outlet
the north face uk
cheap uggs
coach outlet store online
abercrombie and fitch new york
air max 90
louis vuitton outlet
tory burch sale
polo ralph lauren outlet
timberland outlet
jordan retro
lebron 11
oakley sunglasses
louis vuitton purses
ray ban sunglasses outlet
michael kors handbags
canada goose outlet
ugg boots outlet
replica rolex watches
ugg boots outlet
mont blanc pens
michael kors handbags
canada goose coats
cheap uggs
ugg clearance
michael kors outlet online
uggs for men
christian louboutin
oakley outlet
louis vuitton handbags
instyler max
uggs outlet

chenlili said...

true religion outlet
louboutin femme
cheap nfl jerseys
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton handbags
nike tn pas cher
coach outlet
michael kors outlet
christian louboutin shoes
hermes bags
louis vuitton handbags
coach outlet online
hermes belt
cheap oakley sunglasses
louis vuitton outlet
ugg boots
the north face jackets
michael kors handbags
san antonio spurs jerseys
nike roshe run flyknit
miami heat jerseys
michael kors purses
michael kors
cheap nfl jerseys
dallas mavericks jerseys
coach factory outlet
louis vuitton outlet
coach outlet
oakley sunglasses
ray ban sunglasses
louis vuitton handbags
ray ban wayfarer
oakley vault
canada goose outlet
kate spade outlet
cartier watches
nike air max pas cher
christian louboutin outlet

Liu Liu said...

The Giants will lean on rookie Andre Williams for at least Nike Air Max 90 one more week in New York's backfield.

Ralph Vacchiano of the New York Daily News reported Saturday that Rashad Jennings is not traveling with the team to Nike Free Run Seattle because of the knee injury that has shelved the veteran running back since Week 6. Officially listed as doubtful, Jennings' absence comes as no great suprise.

Also for Big Blue, defensive tackle wholesale jerseys shop Cullen Jenkins, cornerback Zack Bowman and pass rusher Mathias Kiwanuka are all questionable for Sunday's showdown with the Seahawks.

After showing tantalizing promise in the preseason, Williams has struggled of late in New York's backfield. The rookie hasn't topped four yards per carry in a game since Week 4 and spit out just 22 yards off Nike Roshe Run 12 attempts in Monday night's loss to the Colts. The Giants NFL Jerseys saw better production from second-year runner Michael Cox and the unkillable Peyton Hillis.

After throwing an outrageous 52 passes in the Indy defeat, new nike nfl jerseys Eli Manning is a candidate to take to the skies again if New York's running cheap sale jerseys game remains NFL Jerseys Store stuck in neutral against Seattle.

Post a Comment