Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Turty Tree

Whee! It's me! And today I'm turning turty tree!

Yep. I've just turned the grand old age of 33. Same age as Jesus. In earth years like.

And the same age as Abi Titmuss too! (In dog years).

Regrets I have a few. Principally I really can't believe I wasted the best part of my 32s by not blogging. They were my peak years. I'll never get those posts back you know.  

Interestingly, well maybe not but it's good a bridge word as any, Bilbo Baggins, at the outset of the first book in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, held his eleventy-first birthday on September 22nd. So I'm a little put out that I don't get to share my birthday with the little big man himself, missing out by a week. Instead, I got Tommy Lee Jones, Prince Harry and Marco Polo, who of course when you think about it all have Hobbit-like qualities themselves to varying degrees.

However, I have noted that littler bigger man, Frodo Baggins, a hobbit for the younger generation, also turned 33 that same day (I'd be a mere stripling in hobbit terms it seems, I'd move there for the social cachet with the Hobbit-ladies but couldn't be up to all that banging me head off stuff and besides, I refuse to entertain females any hairier than myself). Further investigation reveals that 33 is when hobbits are said to have 'come of age' and don't forget, as a present Bilbo also gave Frodo the keys to his, no sniggering, Bag End. So you see, in hobbit years, it really is the equivalent of my 21st, or something approximating it at least. Maybe I'm only 18 actually. So there.

At 33, I'm £25.99, in 'old' money. You can do the puns yourselves. I think I'm better value now though.

If I was a bingo number, they'd call me two little fleas, thirty-three, Gertie Lee, Dirty Knees, Sherwood Forest (all the trees) or All the Feathers. I've googled and can find no explanation for All the Feathers by the way, and this is annoying me, which is in itself a sign of getting older I suppose.

Personally I'd call it Boobs and Bellies, 33. Heh. I like that.

Anyone who drinks Rolling Rock beer will also know that the number 33 appears, for no apparent reason, on the print on the back. The theory goes that it was a word count of the original blurb: Rolling Rock - From the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium beer for your enjoyment as a tribute to your good taste. It comes from the mountain springs to you. The company submitted this to the bottle maker and left the word count (33) in the print afterwards and the printer put it on the bottles, and it was deemed too expensive to correct later. So consider yourselves educated.

Turty tree is of course a number beloved of the English, because they love to hear the Irish say it in our unique way, just like I spelled it there. This is rich coming from a people who will exhort us to say 'Free Fur-hee Free' in our 'cute' accents and see no irony in it whatever, but we'll forgive them their foibles as they have forgiven us ours, e.g. Henry Kelly and Bryan McFadden.

So. Today's post was brought to you by the number 33 and the letters S, I, G and H.

Terence out.

19 moos and woofs:

Radge said...

You nearly lost me at the Tolkien mentionings.

Terence McDanger said...

You're not one of us Radge.
But the Rolling Rock thing is perfect oh-shit-the-conversation-just-died-and-I'm-on-a-date fodder. Lock it away. You can thank me later.

hope said...

Wow, that's almost enough to make me pull out my "Book of Birthdays", where I can discover anything from who your Guardian Angel is suppose to be all the way to the depressing book that points out how young some of our "famous folks" were when they made major accomplishments. Yeah. Right. They fail to point out that most of them didn't live much past that age either.

Instead, for today I will give you the silliest birthday link I've ever had gifted to me, where you can learn more about your birthday than you'd ever want to know. You've been warned.


In the meantime, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! [And welcome home/back]

Susan at Stony River said...

ha ha! LOVE that wrap-up Big Bird! Ok, I loved the whole thing. And yes, Englishes making fun of ANYONEs accents (which they do) is hilarious.


Brighid said...

Happy Birthday. Your one weird cowpoke for the big 33rd, or 18 or any age. I for one am glad your back.
I'm always teasing my ex-brit neighbor about her word-age. She doesn't think it's so funny, who knew.

Kath Lockett said...

Happy Birthday young fella, said the nearly forty-one year old

Terence McDanger said...

@hope: thanks for that. It was fascinating in a dorky sort of way. My birth flower is ASTER. Who'd have thunk it. And wtf is an Aster flower anyway?

@Susan: I've always seen myself as a Grover type to be honest, but I'm glad you liked it anyway.

@Brighid: What's a weird cowpoke? I think I might want one of those but I need to be sure.

@Kath: You're never too old to put photos on your blog with biros hanging from your nostrils, that's the stuff that matters in this life.

hope said...

Think of it as a really happy daisy...lots of purple. Royal color, you know. :)

NaRocRoc said...

Belated happy coming of age youngfella!

Terence McDanger said...

My head hurts. That is all.

Meadow said...

Happy birthday! I love 33.

Healey said...

Happy Belated Birthday and welcome to yer turtee's! Keep writing and we'll keep reading! :)

Red Leeroy said...

I was 33 recently. I now wish I had blogged about it. Happy Birthday.

Baino said...

Dammit I missed this . sorry old chap. Hope you had a good one. Turty Tree? Young whippersnapper!

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